


A Lifetime of Love

by QueenOfDestielLand



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awesome Eileen Leahy, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Good Parent Mary Winchester, Good Uncle Gabriel (Supernatural), Grandparent John Winchester, Grandparent Mary Winchester, Hunter Retirement (Supernatural), Kid Fic, M/M, Multi, Parents Castiel & Dean Winchester, Parents Gabriel & Sam Winchester, Polyamory, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Supportive John Winchester, Threesome - F/M/M, Uncle Sam Winchester, Well deserved rewards, parents Eileen and Sam and Gabe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-04 00:39:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17888210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfDestielLand/pseuds/QueenOfDestielLand
Summary: After a very long vacation, Chuck decides that it's time to head back to Heaven and try to fix things. But the place that He once considered home is in chaos and shambles. Angels have rebelled and died, the reign of Metatron and Lucifer has come and gone - and now there was a shortage of His children. He realizes that a lot of this anarchy hasn't just stemmed from His absence - but was born from the angels' hatred of mankind. Well, there's only one way He could think of to make them treat humans with more respect...Nephilim. The perfect union of angel and man. And He knows exactly who to start with: The Righteous Man and the Angel who rebelled for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So I decided to go through my old fics and found a renewed passion for this one. I'm going to edit it and repost it bit by bit, and hopefully complete it within the next month or so. I hope you enjoy, and your feedback is well appreciated!
> 
> This is canon divergent, so some of it will follow the storyline and some of it won't.

Chuck Shurley had been alive for millions of years. Well, more accurately, _God_ had been alive for at least that long. The persona of Chuck was much younger than that.

Originally, He had simply used the form of the drunken writer and prophet as a way to keep an eye on the Winchester brothers. They fascinated Him, something that hadn't happened since He created mankind in the first place. Sure, there had been amazing humans that had come into being since Adam and Eve lived in Eden, but none of them compared to Sam and Dean. Strong and resilient, they always somehow managed to beat the odds, even when everything - and sometimes _everyone_ \- was set up so that they would fail. They died, were reborn, were beaten to a pulp, their spirits broken over and over, and yet they kept going. Always fighting the good fight and never letting the world suffer just because they were tired. There were so many times when Chuck thought that Sam and Dean were ready to throw in the towel for good, but then they surprised Him yet again by pulling themselves up and refusing to back down.

They were... _remarkable_. Everything that He had hoped humans could be.

He knew they had a lot of resentment towards Him, and who could blame them? He had run away from Heaven, leaving Sam and Dean to pick up the slack and to clean up His mess. He knew that His children would rebel. He _knew_ that at least one of them would try to take His place, but He still ran.

Like a coward. It wasn't His _proudest_ moment, of course.

He watched as Raphael tried to restart the Apocalypse that Team Free Will had so meticulously stopped. He idly stood by while Metatron tried to take on the mantle of God, leading several angels to slaughter and even killing Dean Winchester in the process. The poor boy had been so desperate to save the world, that he foolishly took on the Mark of Cain and damned himself. Chuck didn't blame him for it - sacrifice was what the Winchesters did. But seeing the Righteous Man get reborn as a demon, a _Knight of Hell_ , hurt deeper than He would have imagined.

It had been so _vile_ and unnatural to see black eyes replace Dean's beautiful moss green. Chuck supposed that, in the bigger picture, Demon Dean didn't do nearly as much damage as he could have. Even with a dark and damned soul, Dean Winchester still protected a waitress that he didn't even know, and let's be honest: Len was hardly _innocent_.

Then, the hunter was perfectly willing to blow himself up to save the world. Again. And even after losing his brother for the 100th or so time, Sam would have kept fighting the good fight alongside Castiel until he was too old to even remember what a Wendigo was. The youngest Winchester would fade away, old and wrinkled and being watched over by an angel in a tan trenchcoat, a legend of his time.

Castiel. Now _there_ was an angel to be proud of.

Granted, His son was part of the reason that so many of His children were dead now, and He was not happy about it, but even that major fiasco had started off with good intentions. Castiel had rebelled for Dean. Other than Gabriel, he was the only angel who had taken the whole "love them as you love Me" thing and ran with it. Gabriel appreciated the more debauched part of life, while Castiel was simply happy to remain with the Winchesters and help them fight evil.

Chuck shook his head, wondering when Dean and Castiel would finally get their heads out of their asses.

His eyes scanned His old office, seeing the broken typewriter on the floor and the shattered remnants of the Angel tablet. All of Heaven seemed so quiet now, barely talking above hushed whispers, wondering what His next move was. War had happened here, time and time again. Battles that could not be undone, and shattered dreams that still haunted Him. If He slept, they would probably keep him awake at night.

He didn't know where to begin, really. There was a lot that needed to be done. So many of His children were gone now. So many senseless deaths... Maybe the first step to rebuilding The Host was creating new angels with a different view on mankind. True angelic beings that actually wanted to help, rather than hurt, the mortals they were supposed to watch over.

He frowned, His eyes trailing down to the typewriter again, the sides of it cracked, the keys littered on the floor around it. Angels like Raphael and Metatron rose up because they didn't truly understand or appreciate humanity. Most of them considered humans to be lesser beings, playthings that they could use and discard. That needed to change this time around.

He paused for a moment, then slid into His chair and rested His elbows on the desk. How could He change the thinking of His children? Surely after all this time, they could see how important humans were? Just because they were mere mortals and weak in comparison? Wait...

_That was it!_

He banged a fist down on the desk, causing a few of the remaining papers to rustle and scatter, and old dust motes to cloud in the air. The Nephilim may have been considered monsters at one time, but things were different now - they had to be. He could sense the unmarked soul inside Lucifer's son, even from here, and it wasn't good or bad yet. A Nephilim could become as pure and kind as those who raised them, or as wicked as those who didn't. It wasn't biology, it was environment.

He turned His head suddenly, hearing the desperate prayer of an all too familiar voice. His heart ached as He listened to the words of men who had been broken more times than they deserved.

 _"God? Or Chuck, I guess... Are you there? Listen... I know you're on vacation, or whatever, but I could really use your help. Cas is... He's... Lucifer stabbed him. He's not moving. I... I keep hoping he will but... He's not. Can you help him? Please. God, I'll do anything. He's_.. _He's my best friend. I can't lose him. I just can't. I won't be able to survive..."_

  
Then, there was Sam. Hurt over the loss of Castiel but knowing his brother was taking it much harder than him.

_"God, it's me. Sam Winchester. I... need your help. I know I'm not your favorite person and that I've made a lot of dumb ass mistakes, but this isn't for me. It's for Dean. Cas is... gone. Lucifer killed him, right in front of Dean. I know You've brought him back to life a million times already, but we need him. Dean needs him. We both know that he's not going to survive this. Take me instead, if you want. Just please, bring him back to us. Please..."_

Chuck looked down at the Angel tablet now, thinking about how, not so long ago, a certain blue-eyed seraph had destroyed it to save one man. A mere human. God's greatest creation - and all without a second thought. A smile slid across His face as ideas began to form in His head. He knew exactly where the first Nephilim needed to be placed. It was time to repay Sam and Dean for all the sacrifices they had made and give them everything they deserved.

With a snap of his fingers, He disappeared in a cloud of white smoke.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mention of past thoughts of suicide
> 
> Note: This will begin shortly after Lucifer kills Cas.

_Cas... wake up, Cas. Please._

He must have blinked a thousand times as he looked down helplessly at the lifeless form of his best friend, hoping beyond hope that this was just some horrible, fucked up nightmare and that he'd wake up in the Bunker at any minute. Castiel would be safe and sound, reading one of the books in the library as he often did, probably being a huge nerd with Sam at some symbol he found. Everything would be perfectly fine and Castiel would be okay because he _had_ to be, because if he wasn't, then that meant...

Dean blinked one more time, holding his breath clenching his fists tightly at his sides.

_Cas, please! I need you, man._

Nope. Nothing had changed. Castiel was still lying there, eyes closed, iconic trench coat ruffled - the charred remains of his wings burned into the earth. The most telling sign that an angel was really and truly... dead. 

He could feel bile rising in his throat the longer he stared, the terrible truth of what had just happened repeating in his head like a twisted slideshow. Over and over he watched as Castiel stood before him, his blue eyes full of shock and confusion, the point of the angel blade protruding from his chest. The bright flare of white-blue nearly blinding him as the life faded from his eyes - eyes that he had held staring contests with so many times over the years. 

Dean wasn't an idiot. He knew that maybe staring at your best friend for long periods of time wasn't exactly _heterosexual_ , but it was normal for them. Castiel stood a little too close and Dean stared just a little too long. So what? It was their thing, and no one had ever called them on it before. And even if they did, he would have told them to fuck right off because who were they to judge? Castiel was an innocent angel, he didn't know human protocols even after all these years. He didn't know any better!

Hot tears pricked at his eyes and he clenched his fists even tighter together, his gaze not leaving Castiel even through his blurred vision. This wasn't right. The angel didn't deserve any of this. He was just trying to help!

A bitter laugh escaped him as he wiped a calloused hand across his eyes. Of course. The _only_ reason Castiel was even there was that he got pulled into yet another bullshit situation because of Dean. If he had just trusted the angel and not pushed him away...

_This is my fault. Everyone I love dies because of me._

He looked up at the night sky, thinking about his life since Castiel had come into it all those years ago. Back then, Dean was fresh off his vacation at Hell Island and enjoying his parting gift of a lifetime supply of torture nightmares and PTSD. You know, _the dream_. When he got topside, his first thought was that Sam had broken the promise he made and made some deal with some asshole demon to pull Dean's bacon out of the fire. When it turned out that Sam  _wasn't_ the one responsible, he began to wonder if one of those demons might actually want him to be flesh and bone again so that they could force him to do their fucked up bidding. It never even occurred to him that the other side would be interested in him, or that it had even noticed him in the first place.

So when a weird guy in a flasher coat walked into that sigiled barn and announced that he was an Angel of the Lord, Dean had actually started to wonder if maybe he was worth more than just being a soldier, a grunt - or even cannon fodder. Maybe his life had more value than that. It wasn't the case, however, because Heaven wanted him to be all those things, plus a meat suit. He and Sammy were just tools for both sides, and even then he was fucking tired of it. Hell, the only reason why he didn't drive the Impala off a fucking cliff with him and his brother inside, was because Castiel had changed _everything_. 

Castiel was an angel, a magical, holy being who had lived for over a millennium before humans were even a thought in Chuck's drunken head. He had seen the world get created first hand. Mountain ranges were formed, lakes were filled, trees were planted in lush forests thick with wildlife. He had seen it all. Yet he had thrown away everything he had ever known just to be Dean's guardian angel. He turned against Heaven, his brothers and sisters, his Father, all for a worthless human with stolen credit cards in his wallet and mental issues so bad that no normal person in their right mind would ever stand to be with him. Dean still had no idea why, but he did know that Castiel had become just as important to him as his brother. 

And now he was... dead.

No. He refused to accept this outcome. He _had_ to do something. He had met the Big Guy upstairs and even saved His life, so surely He had to help?

He closed his eyes, and began to pray, feeling a single tear trickle down his cheek. 

_"God? Or Chuck, I guess... Are you there? Listen... I know you're on vacation, or whatever, but I could really use your help. Cas is... He's... Lucifer stabbed him. He's not moving. I... I keep hoping he will but... He's not. Can you help him? Please. God, I'll do anything. He's... He's my best friend. I can't lose him. I just can't. I won't be able to survive..."_

He kept his eyes closed for a moment, hoping that very soon he would see a bright white light behind them as a sign of Castiel coming back to life. Even after a few minutes, nothing came, and he felt his heart sink to his stomach.

He should have known that God wouldn't help him, like usual.

"Cas..." he whispered, his voice sounding like he had chewed on gravel. "Please come back to me. You always come back." He sank to his knees next to his friend's prone body and leaned forward, slowly reaching a hand out to touch the angel's trench-coated shoulder. "Come on, man. You're Castiel. You can bounce back from this. You've been through much worse." He forced a smile onto his face. "Remember when you swallowed all those Purgatory souls and then blew up in the lake? That was a hundred times worse than this and you still survived! Sure, I was pissed at you for what you did, but we got through it together."

He clenched a tight fist onto the lapel of the coat, gently shaking the other man a bit. 

"Come on, buddy. You're okay." 

Castiel didn't move.

This couldn't be happening. This had to be some sort of mistake. He could feel his emotions start to run wildly out of control. Maybe the angel was just unconscious or something, trying to repair his grace. That seemed like a feasible explanation, didn't it?

He could hear footsteps behind him and he whirled around, hoping that it was Chuck standing there - but it was just Sam, with a worried look on his face. 

"Dean..."

The hunter bitterly turned back around. "Cas? Quit playing around, man. This isn't funny anymore."

Maybe if he poured some cold water on the angel, it would shock him awake. Well, there was a lake nearby, perhaps Dean could go - 

There was a hand on his shoulder now. "He's gone."

"No, he's just sleeping," the older Winchester said, huffing a laugh. "It's going to be fine."

"No, it's not. I'm sorry, Dean."

Sam was wrong, and he had to prove it. "Cas, you son of a bitch. Wake up!" He shook the angel more vigorously now. "Get up!"

"Dean! Stop this!"

He could barely hear his brother's voice in the background as he desperately shook the angel again and again. "You're not dead! You're not dead! You're not dead! You're not dead!" The words poured from his lips over and over, echoing off the lake house and the nearby mountains. If Castiel was truly gone then that meant that they'd never have cheeseburgers at the diner again, and he'd never get to binge-watch every single Star Trek show with him, and he would never get to teach Castiel how to bake a pie.

"Dean, you have to stop!" Sam's huge arms wrapped around him, trying to pull him away from Castiel's body, but he refused to let go of the coat.

Hot tears streamed down the hunter's face as he tried to will his friend alive again. 

"He's fine!"

Those blue eyes would never open again, and look at him with such adoration that it made him warm inside.

"No, he isn't! He's gone!"

He would never see that rare, gummy smile of Castiel's again.

Dean finally released the coat and allowed himself to be dragged away. He felt like he could barely breathe as he struggled to get air into his lungs, the reality of the situation hitting him like a train. 

"Dean, you're having a panic attack. Calm down."

He could feel his heart racing so fast that he thought it might burst from his chest. The world was spinning around him, causing him to lose his balance and topple to the ground again. Sweat poured down his face as he struggled to right himself. He had never felt so out of control in his life. 

"I need him, Sammy," he whispered, not even recognizing his own voice. "He's my best friend."

"I know. I do, too. He was our family."

His eyes slid over to the still form on the ground again. Castiel was really gone... and there was nothing he could do about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was devastated. 

He knew that he didn't feel the loss of Castiel as deeply as his brother did, but it still tore at his very soul. The angel had become his closest friend - hell, his _only_ friend - and now it felt like there was a massive hole in his heart. He had no idea how to fix any of this, or if he even had the power to do anything at all. Sure, he could be supportive and comforting to Dean, but Sam didn't think that it would make much of a difference at this point. There was no way that his big brother was getting through this unscathed - if he even got through it at all. 

He stood next to Dean for a few brief, terrible moments after Castiel crumpled to the ground and the ashes of his burned feathers floated around them. It seemed almost surreal, as if they were both living some sort of torture dream back in Hell. If that was the case, whoever was in charge of it deserved a huge promotion and a fancy company car, because _damn_. They had hit the Winchesters right where it hurt the most this time. 

There was still the matter of Kelly's baby to attend to on top of everything else, so Sam forced himself to walk towards the lake house and away from his grief-stricken brother. He knew there was no way that Dean was in the right frame of mind to handle much of anything right now, much less a Nephilim who may or may not be out to destroy the world, so he would try to handle this problem on his own. He spared one last glance at his brother and decided to offer up a silent prayer to Heaven, just in case someone might be listening who actually didn't hate them.

He almost laughed at that. The only person who didn't hate them and had the power to fix this had just killed himself in the other realm to save their asses. 

" _God, it's me. Sam Winchester. I... need your help. I know I'm not your favorite person and that I've made a lot of dumb ass mistakes, but this isn't for me. It's for Dean. Cas is... gone. Lucifer killed him, right in front of Dean. I know You've brought him back to life a million times already, but we need him. Dean needs him. We both know that he's not going to survive this. Take me instead, if you want. Just please, bring him back to us. Please..."_

It was a long shot, but he was desperate and willing to do pretty much anything at this point. He'd even try a crossroads deal, if he thought that any demon would actually do business with them anymore. Not that either one of them had anything to offer anymore. Certainly not their souls, which were probably just paperweights by now.

He swung open the door to the house and walked inside, mentally preparing himself for whatever lied ahead. If he had any luck at all, he would simply find Kelly in the nursery, feeding a giggling, bouncing baby boy or girl for the first time. But since he was a Winchester and luck loved to laugh in their faces, he was pretty sure that the only thing waiting for him was Baby Kline with a fireball. 

He found Kelly first, but not the way he had hoped. The poor woman was dead, her brown eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling and blood covering the bed she was laying in. The birth of her child had clearly not been an easy one, and he felt bad that she had endured such a painful end. He gently lowered the lids of her eyes. She may have been stubborn as hell about keeping the literal spawn of Lucifer, but she didn't deserve this.

As he turned to leave, he noticed scorched footprints on the floor leading out of the room. He retrieved the gun from the waistband of his jeans and slowly followed them, heading out into the hallway and into the next room over. Sam pushed open the door after counting to three, immediately noticing the name "Jack" painted on the far wall. This must have been what the nursery was going to be. Kelly obviously had high hopes that this whole thing would turn out well, despite everyone's objections. His eyes slid around the room, taking in how normal it all seemed to be.

What _wasn't_ normal however, was the pair of golden eyes staring at him from a dark corner of the room. 

He sucked in a breath and lowered his gun. Was this... Kelly's new baby? How had he grown so quickly? In the dim light, he seemed to already be in his twenties now, and certainly not a newborn infant. He had to be careful. He knew that if this was indeed Lucifer's son, he had no chance against him. Maybe he'd at least be able to get a shot out beforehand and a slight headstart. He raised the gun up slightly, but not enough that he might appear threatening.

"Are you Jack?" Sam asked cautiously. "Kelly's son?" He thought that if he brought up the boy's human mother, it might keep the "Satan Spawn" side of him at bay for a while. 

The boy said nothing.

"Jack, are you alright? I just found your mother. I'm sorry... she was a good woman."

Still no response. 

Sam swallowed hard and took a step forward. "Do you need help?"

"Where is Castiel?" The boy's voice was rough and uncertain, as if he was surprised to hear the sound of it. 

"You remember Castiel?" Sam asked. 

"He is my father. Please take me to him."

Jack had somehow got attached to Castiel from inside Kelly. It wasn't just the Winchesters who were going to miss him. 

"I'm sorry but - he's dead, too."

An emotion flickered in those golden eyes. It could have been grief, or frustration, but it was gone in an instant.

"He was our family, too," Sam said. "He was like a brother to me."

The boy suddenly turned his gaze upwards for a moment, head tilted to the side in a way very reminiscent of Castiel. 

Sam felt a painful ache in his chest at that. 

"Don't worry. Everything will be alright soon."

The hunter stared at Jack with confusion on his face. "I'm sorry?"

"You apologize a lot. Everything cannot possibly be your fault."

The kid was perceptive, for being barely an hour old. "It feels like it is, sometimes." Sam shrugged. "I tried to help your mom, and now she's gone."

Jack rose to his feet. It was now much clearer that he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Sam quickly averted his eyes.   
  
"Oh! We might have some clothes you can borrow in our car if you want."

"Clothes?"

"To cover yourself with."

"Why do I need to cover myself?"

Sam chuckled a little. "Well, I don't think people will be happy with a naked guy walking down the street. At least let us give you a ride somewhere."

Silence. Had he offended Jack somehow?

"Listen, I'm - I apologize. I hope I didn't upset you."

Still nothing.

He turned around, hoping that Jack had found something to cover himself with only to realize that he was no longer there. 

Sam quickly ran through the house, seeing if maybe Jack just ventured to another room or something, but the place was empty, save for Kelly's body. He dashed outside, looking around the area but only seeing Dean and Castiel in the same place he had left them. 

_Fuck. Where did Jack go?_

He slowly made his way over to his brother, seeing the other man start to shake Castiel's body. Oh, no. Dean was in denial that the angel was actually dead... It was much worse than he thought. 

A few minutes later, as he held his sobbing big brother in his arms, he wondered how they were going to get through this. He had never seen Dean break down like this before. Usually, he just hid his pain behind alcohol and sarcasm, pretending everything was alright. 

Not this time. Not when his best friend was gone. 

"I'm so sorry, Dean," he whispered, tears of his own now falling down his cheeks. 

Maybe he did apologize a lot, but he'd do it a million times more if it made his brother feel better.


	4. Chapter 4

After about twenty minutes of crying so hard that it felt like his head was going to explode, Dean slowly got to his feet to assess the situation. He took a deep, shaky breath, already picturing an eventful evening full of drinking shots until he passed out. It definitely wasn't a solution to the problem, but it might help just a little bit. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried like that - or even cried at all, for that matter. Sometimes during the night, he would have dreams full of torture and pain, and Alistair's laughter in his ear, and he'd wake up screaming with sweat pouring down his body and his hands shaking for a drink. Sam was always right there to help him and never made him feel like less of a man for being afraid. His brother knew exactly what he was going through because he was experiencing it, too. 

Just because they weren't in Hell anymore didn't mean that Hell had ever left them. 

He wasn't sure if he would be able to get over Castiel's death this time. In the past, he always believed the angel would come back because that's just the way it was. But now it was real because this was the first time that Dean had ever seen those charred feathers on the ground that belonged to the greatest angel he had ever known. The grief inside him was immeasurable, and there was no amount of alcohol in the world that could erase what he felt. He damn sure wished there was, though.

Dean knew had to be strong for Sam above all else right now. Though his little brother wasn't showing it, Dean knew that he was hurting. Poor Sam didn't even get a chance to mourn for Eileen either, because everything had happened so fast. God, they had lost way too many fucking people over the years - even each other from time to time. When did it all stop? When they were dead for good?

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks, man - for being there."

"I always will."

"Here, let's get him into the car," Dean said hoarsely, using his shirt to dry his eyes. "We can give him a... funeral at home. Where he belongs." His voice cracked when he spoke, but Sam didn't comment on it. 

"Of course. Maybe we can move him to that little garden that he loved to work in? The one with the beehives."

The older Winchester nodded, clearing his throat and trying to choke down the emotion that was threatening to build up again. "Yeah. He'd love that, Sammy."

The garden had been a gift from the brothers, a sort of "Welcome Home" present for the angel so that he didn't feel out of place, or like he didn't belong. Dean had been thrilled when Castiel decided to move in and become a permanent member of Team Free Will. Not that he hadn't been before, of course, but the guy tended to fly off all the time to deal with Heaven business or another random Winchester fuck-up. He just wanted Castiel to be happy, even if it meant sitting out in the blazing hot sunshine and planting stupid flowers for his weird friend in the trenchcoat. 

Dean sighed. Castiel had always tried to help them, even when he knew they would fail. _Stubborn son of a bitch..._

The two of them gently lifted the angel off the ground, with Dean holding his shoulders and Sam holding his feet. They carefully walked over to the Impala, making sure that Castiel's head didn't roll awkwardly to the side and hurt his neck. Once they reached the car, Dean opened the back door and prepared to lower the angel inside. He would have to grab a blanket out of the trunk to cover him with - 

They both nearly dropped him when a voice suddenly spoke up from behind them.

"Oh, that won't be necessary."

"What the fu - " Dean quickly regained his hold on his friend and turned his head towards the sound, not in the mood for any more bullshit today. He would seriously shoot anyone in the face who bothered them right now.

He almost sagged with relief when he saw who it was - probably the last person he'd ever expect to help their sorry asses.

"You... you came."

God, or the _Prophet-Formally-Known-as-Chuck_ , was standing there with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. "I had to, since both of the Winchesters prayed for My help."

Dean's eyes flickered over to Sam, who simply shrugged his shoulders. "I was desperate. I didn't even know if He'd answer."

"Look, not to sound ungrateful or whatever," Dean said slowly, not wanting to piss off God Himself and cause him to smite them both and then flit back to Heaven or wherever without helping Castiel. "But why did you take so damn long to get here? I prayed nearly an hour ago! I thought he was gone forever!"

"Dean," Sam warned, but Chuck put a hand up.

"You know that I can't answer every single prayer that's sent out to Me. Do you know how many people call out to Me for help? There are at least a million people doing it right now!" Chuck replied calmly, but with a slight edge to his voice. "Besides, I was having a crisis of My own up there."

The brothers exchanged a glance, then slowly lowered the angel to the ground again. Dean took off his jacket and rolled it up, placing it behind Castiel's head. Chuck watched the scene with interest. 

"You're so careful with him, even when he's gone," He murmured thoughtfully.

Dean shot Him a glare. "He's still Cas, and he's not gone. He's right here."

Sam put a hand on his brother's arm, then looked back at Chuck. "What kind of crisis? Can we help?"

Chuck slowly walked over to where they stood, and then gazed down at His son with sadness on His face. "Heaven - it's broken. The angels tore it apart while I was gone. I wasn't sure what to do, or how to fix it."

Sam was wearing his sympathetic 'you can trust us' face, usually reserved for witnesses on cases they worked. "And what did You decide?"

Dean could personally give a fuck less about Chuck's problems at this point - he just wanted Him to save Castiel already - but he didn't want to push the issue, either. This might be his one shot to save his friend.

Chuck glanced up at them. "Angels have looked down on humans since their creation. They see them as 'mudmonkeys', as lesser beings. I've seen them possess a mortal and then leave them either dead or a hollow shell of their former selves, without a single thought or regret."

"So, you want to change their way of thinking? Force them to love humans?" Sam inquired.

Chuck shook his head. "Yes and no. I believe in free will, remember? I don't want to force anyone to do anything. It has to be their choice."

Dean decided that he might as well get in on the conversation too - if nothing else, to hurry it along. "What's the plan, then?" 

"Nephilim," Chuck said simply. 

The brothers both looked at each other like the Man had lost His mind. "But I thought they were forbidden," Sam replied finally. "The whole reason why we were trying to stop Lucifer's son from being born was that we thought he'd be evil. We thought he would take over the world."

Chuck gave a nod. "If Lucifer had been able to influence him, then you would probably be right. This world would be destroyed in a couple years, three at the most. But since Kelly and Castiel were the only real contact he had, he's currently a blank slate. Neither good, nor evil."

"Wait, so he could actually turn out fine?" Dean asked. "No Apocalypse, no burning down the world?"

"Yes. Especially since his father is trapped in that alternate universe." Sadness appeared on Chuck's face again. "I'm glad that he's defeated now. I just wish things could have been different, but no matter how hard I try..." He trailed off for a moment, looking thoughtfully at the nearby lake. "I suppose it doesn't matter now. Things are going to change, and he won't be around to screw it up."

"So, Nephilim?" Dean said, leaning back against his car. He still found it so strange that God Himself was standing right there in front of them, pouring out His heart and telling them His great plan. Their lives were fucking insane. 

"The perfect union of man and angel. The events of the past few years have caused the deaths of so many of My children."

Dean briefly wondered if Chuck was about to smite them both out of revenge for being the cause of some of those deaths. "I'm sorry."

"I think everyone is to blame for it happening, Myself included." Chuck sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets again. "But we can't keep looking at the past if we want to rebuild our future."

"That's very true," Sam replied helpfully.

"The Nephilim will be what bonds angels and mankind together. No longer an abomination, but something to be celebrated, cherished. The way I had always hoped that humans would be loved by angels."

"But you can't force someone to love something," Dean ventured. 

"No, I can't. But if you show them that they're not so different, then maybe they would at least respect and understand them more."

Dean could admire that logic. "Well, good luck with that, then. I hope it works out. It'd be nice not to have to look over our shoulders all the time for some guy in a suit ready to ice us."

Chuck bent down next to Castiel's body. "Actually, you're going to help me start this mission."

What the hell? Dean felt his mouth drop open at that. Was God implying that he wanted Dean to be some angel's baby daddy? 

"Uhh - well," the hunter stammered, avidly trying to ignore his brother staring at him with the same amount of shock on his face, "I'm flattered that You thought of me and all, but I - uh - really don't wanna play sperm donor to some random lady angel. No offense, or anything."

"You won't be."

Dean was just confused now. "What?"

"Nephilim can be made from an angel lying with a human, but I can also make them the old fashioned way, if I have the DNA of a human and the grace of an angel."

Dean was sure that now his mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. His eyes swept from Chuck's smirking face to his friend's body. "You mean..."

Chuck nodded. "Yep. You and Castiel are going to be parents. Congratulations."

Dean didn't even feel the ground when he landed face first on top of it.


	5. Chapter 5

_ **Two months ago...** _

"Man, I can't believe you've never had pie before, Cas!"

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"It's a travesty, that's what it is. A God damned travesty!"

"I'm sure you will find a way to survive."

Castiel felt a bubble of warmth in his chest as he looked at the man sitting next to him. Dean was so happy right now that he was practically bouncing in the driver's seat. The radio was playing his favorite tunes, and they were cruising down the highway towards his favorite bakery, 'Rock N' Rolls'. Life seemed pretty good.

It hadn't felt that way an hour ago. He had found Dean alone in his room, a fresh whiskey bottle in his hand and stress causing his shoulders to sag. The hunter was worried about Lucifer's child and the potentially dire consequences of it being born. It wasn't unlike Dean to take on the weight of the world, but Castiel felt utterly helpless this time. He had absolutely no idea how to fix any of this.

So, he had done the only thing he could think of in a situation like this: he suggested that they go eat pie. It was the one thing other than alcohol that always seemed to cheer Dean up exponentially. The hunter's eyes had lit up like fireworks on the 4th of July, and the Angel was just happy that he had finally scored a small victory. 

"I mean, how long have we known each other?" Dean was saying, taking his eyes off the road to look over at his friend. "Seven, eight years?"

"About nine years, Dean, and please watch where you're doing," Castiel replied, gesturing to the black asphalt in front of them. "I doubt very much that you want your car wrapped around a tree, and us along with it."

The hunter returned his attention to driving and grinned. "I'm not worried, man. You'd bring me back to life if something happened, right?"

"Of course. I will always keep you safe," Castiel said earnestly. He meant every word of it, too. 

Dean glanced over at him again for a brief moment, surprise and then gratitude flickering over his face. He lightly patted the angel's shoulder. "Thanks, Cas. And just so you know, If I had the power, I'd bring you back to life, too."

"You would?" Castiel had often wondered over the years if he was just as important to the Winchesters as they were to him. He didn't expect that he would be - he was just an expendable soldier, after all. A guardian angel tasked with keeping Dean Winchester safe. Over time, he had added watching over Sam to his list of duties, not only because he had grown to care for the younger hunter, but because Castiel knew how important he was to Dean. 

Dean laughed. "Of course I would! What'd you think - that we'd just leave you there and forget about you? Come on, man. You're family."

 _Family._ Dean had called him that before, but Castiel didn't think he deserved that title, especially after all he had done in the past. 

"Thank you."

The hunter seemed to get lost in thought for a moment. "Sometimes, I wish I really did have magic."

That surprised the angel. Sam and Dean may have been mere humans, but they were the most resourceful beings he had ever met. They stitched each other up with dental floss, Dean could make an EMF meter out of a hand radio, Sam could draw a perfect sigil off the top of his head. He had always admired them for their skills, and how they had no need for magic to accomplish the impossible. 

"You doesn't need powers to truly be powerful," Castiel replied. 

"Yeah, well - there's been lots of times when Sammy was battered and bruised and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

"That's what I'm here for, Dean."

The hunter shook his head. "You're not there to 'perch on my shoulder'. You even said so yourself once." 

There was no malice behind the statement, but it still felt like a punch to the gut.

Even after all these years, Castiel still felt guilty about how he used to treat the Winchesters when he first met them - especially Sam. Sam had been so thrilled to meet an actual angel, and all Castiel did was remind him about the demon blood coursing through his veins. Back then, he was only interested in fulfilling his duty and completing God's mission. He didn't ask questions because that's what good little soldiers did. He wasn't nearly as important as Uriel or Raphael, so he wasn't privy to any of the really crucial information - like the fact they were trying to start the Apocalypse, for example.

There were other things from his past that Castiel regretted doing, vile, heinous things that he would never forgive himself for. Some of his brothers and sisters thought that he was broken because he felt it all too much, which was probably why Naomi had been tasked with reprogramming him over and over again. According to her, he was a defective machine, born with a crack in his chassis. And he had believed it, too. Until Dean came along and changed everything. 

"I'm sorry about how I used to be," Castiel said, looking out the window. "I thought that I was doing the right thing."

"Hey man, it's fine. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, but I never apologized for the cold way I treated you and Sam. I really was a 'heartless son of a bitch', as you said."

"You changed though, Cas. Especially when it counted the most."

The angel offered a smile. "You taught me a new way. One where I could follow my own path and make my own judgment. Free will."

Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Lotta good that did you. You've ended up in trouble over and over again 'cause of me."

"I have never regretted my choice to remain here with you."

"How can you say that? You've died! Your asshole family keeps trying to kill you."

Castiel shrugged. "You and Sam are my family, Dean, but I wouldn't call you assholes. Occasional assbutts, maybe."

Dean huffed a laugh and shook his head. "I don't know where you learned that sarcasm from. Certainly not me."

"Of course not. It must be Sam who is responsible then." 

"Oh, man," Dean said, chuckling as he turned into the bakery parking lot. "We've been such a terrible influence on you."

"I think it goes both ways, Dean. After all, you did punch a Cupid in the face once."

"He was being a dick!" 

"My point still stands."

The two of them got out of the Impala and Dean slung an arm around Castiel's shoulders as they walked to the entrance.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me that you'll never die again, huh? I wanna keep you around for a while. I still gotta introduce you to _Firefly_ and _Serenity_."

"Of course, Dean. I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	6. Chapter 6

_"You and Castiel are going to be parents. Congratulations."_

_"You and Castiel are going to be parents."_

_"You and Castiel..."_

_"... **parents**."_

The words repeated in his head like a mantra as he slowly came back to consciousness. He could taste dirt in his mouth and the salt of his own cold sweat as it dripped down his forehead. What the hell just happened? One minute he was standing there and the next, he was lying face down on the ground...

Oh, RIGHT. He just had some _really_ fucking weird dream about God and Nephilim and being nominated as a human sperm bank for angels. Granted, it wasn't the weirdest dream that he'd ever had. Just the other day he had one where a clown in a rainbow leopard speedo gave him head while he drove the Impala wearing a sombrero - he had some really mixed feelings about _that_ one for a few days. This one, on the other hand...

He nearly burst into laughter as he started to remember the scene more vividly now. Chuck popped down to Earth and told him that Dean and Castiel were about to be the parents of a bouncing baby angel, and then he fainted... Yikes. He'd never live it down if that last part actually happened. Sam probably had already taken tons of pictures with his phone to use as blackmail later.

He groaned, rolling onto his side and trying to get his bearings. His head hurt, most likely from the terrible landing, and his face felt a bit scuffed up. Otherwise, he felt fine - except for his grief about Castiel, of course. He didn't think he would ever get over that. Why couldn't _that_ have been the thing that was actually a horrible nightmare? 

"Dean? Oh my God, Dean! Are you okay?" He could barely hear his brother's voice through the fog in his brain.

"Could you not use My name in vain, Sam?" a new voice spoke up. "I'm standing right here."

"Oh, crap. I'm so sorry!"

What the hell? Chuck really _was_ there?

He could hear laughter now. "I was just kidding. I'm really not as uptight as people make Me about to be. All wrathful and smitey. I actually took an anger management class two summers ago."

"Is Dean alright?"

"I don't know. He hit the ground pretty hard."

The scene around him slowly came into focus, and the first thing he saw was Sam's worried face peering down at him, along with Chuck's more impassive one standing off to the side. He might as well have been waiting for the train or something. 

 _Gee, thanks a lot for the concern God_ , Dean murmured internally.

"You're welcome," Chuck answered, with a smirk. 

Shit. He forgot that the Guy could read minds. 

"I've never seen you pass out before," Sam said with partial concern, and partial amusement.

Awesome. "Uh, yeah - well, I could have sworn that Chuck said... He wanted me and Cas to have a baby together, and then -"

Sam glanced at Chuck with concern before looking back at Dean. "That actually happened. How hard did you hit your head?"

"Apparently not hard enough." Dean stood up and wiped off his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He couldn't even imagine him and Castiel being parents. Dean might have some experience with babies, but the angel? He didn't know the first thing about changing a diaper - though he would probably have some epic bedtime stories. Not to mention, raising a kid with someone usually meant that you were together, and he and Castiel were certainly not that.

He was straight. **Completely straight**. 

He chose to ignore the snort that came from Chuck's direction at that particular thought. 

Dean cleared his throat and turned towards Him. "You're serious about this, then?" 

The shorter Man nodded. "Yep. I want you and Castiel to be the first - Test subjects, if you will - To prove a theory that I have. I want Heaven to flourish again, but this time without all the hate and rebellion."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "And what theory would that be, exactly?"

"That a Nephilim child who is raised with love and compassion can thrive and be good, not evil. Like I told you with Jack - he's a clean slate right now, but if he gets influenced by someone with bad intentions, then he has the potential to turn out that way, too."

"Why me, though? I can understand Cas, 'cause he's got a lot of good in him, but me?" 

Chuck smiled, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "There's a reason why Heaven calls you the Righteous Man. You will sacrifice everything you have to keep those you love safe. I've seen it Myself. You are a good man, Dean. I'm choosing you because if anyone can make sure a child can be shown how to love, it's Dean Winchester."

Dean looked down at the ground, feeling the tips of his ears turn pink at the compliment. "Thank you," he mumbled, trying to keep his pesky emotions in check.

Chuck withdrew his hand and gestured to Sam. "You raised your brother and he turned into one of the most selfless men I know. You _can_ do this, Dean."

The brothers looked at each other and smiled, especially Sam. Dean knew that the younger Winchester had always felt like a terrible person for all the things he had done, but he had done so many wonderful things over the years, too. 

"Besides," Chuck said, leaning towards him and lowering his voice. "I know you have always wanted to be a father. Now is your chance to have a life filled with laughter and joy, not pain and suffering."

Dean said nothing in response to this, but he knew it was true. Back when he thought that Ben might be his, he had felt hope. Hope that maybe he could have that apple pie life and settle down like a normal person. Get a boring 9 to 5 job and watch Jeopardy during dinner. Go on family vacations to see the Biggest Ball of Yarn and play fantasy football. 

And now God was handing him a chance to have a child - with his best friend, no less. Two guys could totally raise a kid together without it being weird, right? Besides, chicks digged single dads... He looked down at Castiel, feeling his heart ache. He supposed there were worse people to co-parent with. Castiel was loyal, and would never give up on the kid until his dying breath. Plus, his child would be the safest kid in the world with two hunters, an angel and God Himself watching over it.

"I'll do it," Dean said. "Just please bring him back to us, and you know - make sure that he's cool with this, too."

Chuck nodded, leaning down and placing His palm gently on Castiel's forehead. A bright white light shot out from His hand, nearly blinding the brothers in the process. After a few agonizingly long moments, the light dimmed and Chuck straightened again. "It's done."

Dean quickly looked down at the ground where his friend was lying, and his gaze was met with an all too familiar intense blue-eyed stare. Relief flooded through him at the sight, one that he'd never thought that he would ever get to see again. He could feel tears prick at the corners of his eyes again, and he hastily wiped them away. 

"Welcome back, Cas. I thought I'd lost you for good this time."

The angel just smiled. "Hello, Dean. You will never lose me."


	7. Chapter 7

The Impala was filled with both excitement and tension as it sped down the highway towards their home a couple hours later. Excitement because Castiel was alive again and Chuck had offered them all an out from the hunter's life. Tension because Dean and Castiel were going to raise a child together, and no one had any idea what exactly that meant for the two men. 

Chuck had made a deal with them before they left the lake house, one that gave them hope for the future - a future that they might actually now have. The brothers had never been sure about how their lives would end. They assumed it would be at the hands of some evil son of a bitch who was way above their pay grade. Certainly not when they were old and grey in some whimsical little yellow farmhouse with a white picket fence and a pond to fish in. But now, God Himself had told them that they could live out their days however _they_ wanted, without the burden of duty and trying to save the world. They could be free.

Sam and Dean hadn't discussed yet if they were going to keep hunting, but no one could blame them if they chose not to. The brothers had earned that promise of freedom, and surely someone else could handle a few vampires here and there. Claire and Alex were becoming good hunters in their own right, and Jody and Donna had been training a few other girls whose parents were killed by monsters. A new generation was rising up to take on the mantle. 

It was a good offer that his Father had given, and one that Castiel had accepted readily and without a second thought. While the Angel was incredibly nervous about impending fatherhood and all that entailed, he had no doubts that Dean was the only one he would ever consider doing this trial with. Dean Winchester was a good man, and he would protect their child no matter the cost. 

Castiel closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the wind whip against his cheeks as he took in the cool night air. He could still remember his own death just hours before as if he was watching it happen. He had been so foolish to stand in front of the portal like that, but he just wanted to make sure the brothers were safe. He often lacked good judgment when it came to them, a fact his brethren had enjoyed reminding him of over the years. The devastated look on Dean's face as the angel blade slid into Castiel's back wasn't one that he'd soon forget, either. He prayed that he would never have to experience that again.

He smiled as he heard the brothers animatedly talking in the front seat about their plans for a vacation, trying to picture the last time he had seen them so happy. The angel knew that soon he would need to sit down with Dean and discuss their future child and how exactly they were going to raise it, but he really had no clue how to begin that conversation. Chuck had given them a week to relax and prepare before He would bring the new baby to the Bunker, so there was still time to talk about it.

"...can take Cas to see the ocean or something," Dean was saying. 

Castiel laughed softly to himself. He had witnessed the creation of _all_ the oceans, but if it made the hunter happy to show him their beauty, then the Angel would humor him and look at them again. "I'd like that very much, Dean."

Their eyes met in the rearview mirror, and Castiel felt that warm flutter in his stomach that he often did whenever those green eyes locked on his. "Awesome, man. You're gonna love it."

"Just remember we have to be back home in a week," Sam said, typing away on his laptop. 

"Right. The uh... The baby." Dean cleared his throat and focused on the road. 

His reaction made Castiel wonder if the hunter was actually unhappy with the upcoming arrangement, and felt guilt and worry start to replace the warmth. It was partially his fault that Dean got stuck in his situation, after all. Maybe Castiel could talk to his father about choosing a different human and angel so that his friend wouldn't have to be burdened with this?

"Well, which side of the U.S. do you want to visit?" Sam asked. "East coast, west coast?"

"Whichever one will let us get there and back within a week," Dean replied, resting his elbow on the car door. 

"How about Texas? We can go to the Gulf of Mexico."

"Sounds like a plan, Sammy."

Sam nodded and typed some more. "Okay, I'll book us a room near there. If we start driving tomorrow at 7 a.m. we should get there at about 5. We can grab some dinner and relax before heading to the beach the next day."

Dean nodded. "I don't think we've ever been to Texas, so it'll be a new experience for all of us."

"There are some books I want to catch up on, too."

"You big nerd.*

"Says the guy who has the entire _Game of Thrones_ series stashed under his bed."

After what felt like hours, they finally pulled into the Bunker garage. The brothers didn't even bother unpacking the car, simply opting to stumble inside and head to their rooms. It had been a long day, after all. 

"Night, Dean. Night, Cas," Sam said, with a big yawn. 

"See ya in the morning, Sammy," Dean replied, stretching out his arms. "Bright and early, Cas."

Castiel stopped the older Winchester in the hallway before he entered his room. "Dean, can we talk for a minute about the baby?"

The hunter sighed, putting a hand on his doorknob. "Can't it wait 'til tomorrow, Cas? I'm beat." 

The angel nodded, taking a step back. "Of course. My apologies, Dean. Good night."

"Night."

The other man paused briefly before pushing the door open and stepping inside. 

Castiel walked towards the library, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Dean clearly seemed uncomfortable by the situation, so why did he accept God's offer? It didn't make sense to him. Whatever the case may be, he would wait and see what his friend had to say first before he did anything rash. He learned that lesson long ago. 

He sat down at the long table in the library and waited for sunrise. It gave him a lot of time to think. 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean was utterly exhausted, both emotionally and physically, but he still found himself lying wide awake in bed nearly an hour later. 

He wasn't sure if it was the hard day that he had just endured, or the fact that his life was about to drastically change (maybe even both) but sleep just wouldn't come to him. He lied there in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about his life.  
Dean felt bad for brushing Castiel off as he did, but he knew what the angel wanted to talk about - he just wasn't ready to deal with it yet. He didn't regret making the deal with God, because it meant saving Castiel and giving them all a chance to choose their destiny. He was just terrified about his impending parenthood, especially when his own dad was such a horrible example of one.

In some ways, Dean had been the one to raise Sam way more than his father ever did. He loved the old man, but John Winchester was obsessed with revenge more than anything else. The truth was, his mission to kill Azazel came before his mission to be a parent. It had taken Dean a long time to accept that, but he did. The guy had been his hero for as long as he could remember, it wasn't easy to realize that John was actually a terrible father.

Granted, he had taught Sam and Dean how to survive in a world full of crazy, and if it weren't for him they probably would have been dead a long time ago - well, dead- _er_. Unfortunately, with that expertise came infamy that set them firmly in the path of things that wanted to kill them. If they were just nobody hunters who flew under the radar, he doubted anyone would give a fuck about them, certainly not Heaven and Hell. 

He often felt sorry for his brother. Sam had never wanted any part of this life. He had tried so many times to escape it, and he always got dragged right back in. Dean wondered if Sam would retire from hunting now, and go find that normal life he had always wanted. Dean almost wished that he would. He deserved it more than anyone, even himself.

The hunter thought back to a time years ago, when he was about 13 years old and Sam was 9. It was a year after Sam had read the hunting journal and learned about monsters. John had gone on one of his many solo jobs, leaving Dean with one of his stolen credit cards and driving off without a second glance. Even then, Sam wanted to escape...

_Dean was in the middle of cleaning the new sawed-off shotgun he had made when his brother looked up from his comic book._

_"_ _I don't want to be a hunter."_

_The older boy rolled his eyes. "You've said that 10 times already."_

_"Well, I mean it," Sam insisted._

_"_ _Sammy, we don't have a choice," Dean replied, turning to look at him. "When Dad dies someday, it'll be up to us to take over the family business."_

_"Why can't you do it?"_

_"Because it's a family business, doofus. That means we both gotta help."_

_"I just wanna go to school."_

_Dean set the shotgun on the table and walked over to his brother. "What do ya wanna go to school for when all the fun is out here? Think about it, Sammy - we're gonna hunt monsters and save people. We're gonna be heroes!"_

_Sam was quiet, glancing down at his book. "It's fun to read about heroes, but not to actually be one."_

_"How do you know that?"_

_"_ _Batman is only a hero because his parents got killed and he was forced into it."_

_Dean shrugged. "That's just one example. Doesn't mean it's all bad."_

_"Spiderman lost his uncle."_

_"Okay fine, two examples."_

_"And we lost_ mom _."_

_Dean got angry and grabbed Sam's shirt. "Don't talk about her! She has nothing to do with this!"_

_Sam didn't back down, though. "Dad's only out there right now 'cause mom died. See? Every hero needs a tragic back story."_

_Dean released his brother's shirt and took a step back, feeling the hurt and betrayal boiling just beneath the surface. Why would his own brother want to leave him? "Just shut up, Sammy. You don't know anything."_

_"I know I don't wanna be a hunter."_

_"Fine. Don't. Do whatever the fuck you want!"_

_"If you had kids, would you make them be hunters if they didn't wanna be?"_

_Dean shot him a glare. "Leave if you want. Just remember that I would **never** leave you!" He grabbed his wallet off the table and headed towards the door. "I'm gonna get us dinner."_

Dean rolled over on his side. He had thought of the question Sam had posed to him for many years after that. Would he force his kid into the life if they didn't want to be? He knew that he'd at least teach them how to protect themselves from what was out there. He couldn't let them go into life blindly. He wouldn't force them to be a hunter, though. If the past 9+ years taught him anything, it was the importance of free will and choice. He refused to fuck up his child the way John Winchester did to them.

It was just unfortunate that the poor baby was gonna be saddled with Winchester blood and have him as a father and role model. God help them.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam was grateful for many things in his life.

The first of those things was Castiel's resurrection. He had been so sure that the Angel was gone for good this time that it had absolutely terrified him. It wasn't just because Castiel had come to mean so much to Sam as a friend and as a brother. It was also because he knew deep down that Dean would have never survived it. Dean _loved_ Castiel. Sam knew that much. What he didn't know was what form of love it was just yet - though he strongly suspected that it was far more than just a brotherly attachment. He had never seen Dean break down as he did at the lake house, and he knew then and there that no amount of alcohol and random hookups were going to fix it this time. Dean would be broken beyond repair, and Sam had no idea how to help him.

The second thing Sam was grateful for was the impending arrival of his niece or nephew in a week. The baby was a symbol of the new lives they could all lead. For once, they would have a choice about their own fates. They didn't have to keep hunting monsters if they didn't want to. They could travel the world, open a bed and breakfast, binge-watch Netflix - whatever they wanted. It was an amazing feeling, and one that the youngest Winchester had always dreamed of. Sam was even thinking about going back to school. Maybe not to be a lawyer, but something else. He just wasn't sure what yet. 

After being on the road for about 6 hours, Dean pulled into a diner named _Shataya's_ off the interstate highway to stop for lunch. The trip had been a peaceful one so far. Dean jammed along to his Metallica tapes the majority of it, a look of joy on his face that Sam hadn't seen in a very long time. Castiel was in the backseat, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched Dean every now and again.

It was very clear what kind of love the Angel felt for Dean.

The three men piled into a tacky green plastic booth in the back of the diner. Naturally, Sam and Dean sat across from each other, while Castiel chose to sit next to his favorite hunter. It would have been adorabl, if Dean wasn't so painfully oblivious about the whole situation.

The older Winchester snapped open a laminated menu with a flourish, as if he _wasn't_ going to order his usual burger and fries. "Let's see what we got here."

Sam glanced at the menu, noticing with disdain that the only thing that could minutely be considered healthy was the soup special. Chicken and dumplings. Well, it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

"Sorry, Sammy. No rabbit food for you here." Dean smirked at him from above his menu, seemingly reading his thoughts.

Sam rolled his eyes. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to eat healthy once in awhile."

"Actually it might," Dean replied, leaning back in his seat, a serious look on his face. "Remember that time I choked on a crouton? I nearly died!"

"You were fine," Sam replied dryly. 

"Cas had to give me the Heimlich!"

"You're so dramatic."

Dean huffed and turned to his friend. "You see this crap, Cas? My own brother doesn't even care about my near death experience!"

The angel smiled at the hunter in sympathy. "Do not worry, Dean. I will always watch over you. Nothing shall ever cause you harm."

"Thanks, Cas. I -"

"Not even a small piece of stale bread."

If Sam had been drinking right then, he would have spit it all over his brother and friend - especially after witnessing Dean's look of sheer disbelief. The angel just glanced smugly out the window. Castiel had apparently been spending way too much time with them, because somewhere along the line he had picked up Sam's wit and Dean's sass. The Winchester brothers weren't exactly the best influences, after all.

Dean chose to pout a little, and took Castiel's menu from him, placing it on top of his own on the table. "Whatever. A burger wouldn't kill you either, Samantha."

"You're right. It'll just kill my arteries."

"Afternoon, boys. What'll you have?" They all looked up, now noticing the beautiful, curvy waitress standing there in an ugly lime green uniform that matched the booth seats. Her eyes trailed over each of them with curiosity, eventually landing on a certain angel in a trench coat. Her demeanor instantly turned flirty, and she tucked a strand of chocolate brown hair behind her ear with a smile aimed in his direction.

Dean's own appreciative gaze flickered over her body briefly before offering her his golden grin that made women seem to fall at his feet. "Hey there, Sarah. I'd like the cheeseburger platter, and can you throw a fried egg on top? Oh, and a coke, please."

She nodded, writing it down on her pad. She patiently looked at Sam now. "And what about you?"

"The soup special, thank you. Extra crackers. And an ice tea."

"Of course." Now her attention fell back on Castiel, and she gave him a wink. "Your turn, handsome."

"Just coffee for me, please."

"Got it. Are you sure you don't wanna try some of our fresh baked chess pie with that, Hun? I made it myself. It just melts in your mouth."

Castiel didn't notice the innuendo in her tone, and just shook his head. "Not right now, thank you."

"Well, I get off work at 5 tonight. Maybe I'll see you around?" She winked again and sashayed away, leaving a very bewildered Castiel in her wake.

Immediately, Sam looked over at his brother, curious to see what Dean's reaction would be to all this. Usually in these scenarios, Dean was the one getting all of the attention from the women, while Sam and Castiel were just the backup dancers. He nearly burst into laughter at what he saw.

His brother looked like someone just suggested that Star Wars sucked and Dr. Sexy's cowboy boots were _not_ in fact sexy. His eyes were narrowed and jealousy was flickering across his face. To an outside observer, it might have appeared like he was upset that the waitress didn't hit on _him_ , but Sam was no outside observer. He had spent the last 9 years with these assholes, witnessed all the eye sex and lack of personal space. He just couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it before, and now that he did, the truth hit him like a train.

Dean loved Castiel. And there was nothing brotherly about it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos! I am slowly working my way through the story, so be patient! Also, never fear because Jack is going to be a huge part of it.

Castiel was going to become a father in a week's time.

Truth be told, he had never even entertained the possibility before. He was an angel, a tool of Heaven. A weapon to be used to carry out God's will. Raising a tiny Nephilim hadn't exactly been in his future plan, but he was just glad that Dean would be there to help him get through it - _if_ he was there at all. 

There was the matter of the other Nephilim, Jack, as well. He had been keeping a close ear on Angel Radio and browsing Sam's laptop for any news, in the hopes that someone had heard something about him. So far, a young boy with glowing golden eyes had not been seen anywhere. Sam had told him how Jack referred to Castiel as his father, and that fact had warmed his heart. Though he and Kelly only interacted for a short time, he had tried his best to keep her and her child safe because he had felt deep inside that it was the right thing to do. He wanted Jack to turn out good like the Winchesters, and nothing like Lucifer. As God had said, there was still a possibility for that, and Castiel wanted to be a part of that.

He found himself sitting in a motel room a few hours after they had all left the diner and drove down the highway once more. They had finally reached their destination around 5 p.m, just as Sam had predicted, and both brothers were now standing by the window, looking out over the ocean and talking about their plans for tomorrow. 

Dean had been acting strangely since they got back into the car, and Castiel was wondering if the hunter was already regretting the deal he had made with God. While he himself intended to follow his Father's plan, he wasn't going to force Dean to do it if he didn't want to. He would take the baby far away and raise him somewhere else, where Dean wouldn't have to worry about it. 

It was about time that he and Dean had that talk though before he made any final decisions.

When Sam turned away from the window and headed into the bathroom to shower, Castiel stood and walked over to the older Winchester, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place. He wasn't sure where to put his hands, and tapping them against his thigh. This whole thing was so far out of the norm for him that he had no idea where to begin. He supposed he would just start the way he always did.

"Hello, Dean."

The other man glanced at him briefly, impassively, before staring outside again. "Hey."

"Do you - think that we can have a discussion now?"

Dean sighed, clearly not overly thrilled about the idea. "Does it have to be right now? I'm exhausted, Cas. I just spent all day driving - "

"Last night you said we could discuss the fledgling today."

"Fledgling?" Dean asked with a raised brow.

"It's what young angels are called."

"Right." Dean crossed his arms over his chest, his typical defensive stance. "Fine. Let's talk."

Castiel thought for a moment before he spoke, trying to prepare his words carefully. Saying the wrong thing could potentially make Dean angry and shut down completely. "While I am grateful that you saved my life, I have no further expectations of you."

Confusion flashed across Dean's face. "What?"

Castiel had never been very good at finding the right words to express himself, and he already knew that he was screwing this whole thing up. "The Nephilim. I don't expect you to be a part of its life."

Now, Dean looked angry, his arms lowering to his sides and his hands clenching into fists. "What the _fuck_ , Cas? You think I'm some kind of deadbeat dad?"

The Angel shook his head. "No, Dean. I know what family means to you."

"Then why the hell would you even say that?"

"Because you never asked for this. My Father blackmailed you into a situation that you didn't want. So, I understand if you wish to leave it to me to raise."

Dean unclenched his fists, taking a deep breath before he spoke. "You were _dead_ , Cas. I would have... done anything. Look, I wanted you back. _We_ wanted you back. There wasn't even a question."

"And now you have to pay the price." Castiel took a step forward. "It wasn't yours to pay, Dean."

The hunter glared at him. "Gee, thanks for the gratitude."

"I _am_ grateful. I just didn't want you to be stuck with such a burden."

"A burden?" Dean asked incredulously. "Is that what you think family is? What _I_ am?"

The angel sat down on one of the plush blue chairs, looking down at his hands. Those hands once held angel blades and smote his enemies, and soon, they were going to be holding a tiny life. A life reliant on him to feed it, clothe it, keep it safe from all the dangers of the world, both supernatural and otherwise.

"My family hasn't always been the best example of love and compassion. Balthazar and Gabriel were the rare exceptions. I used to think every single order that was given to me was the right one - even if it was to kill someone." He glanced up as Dean joined him and sat in the chair opposite him. "You and Sam taught me that there was another way. One with free will and choice."

"I'm not doing this against my will, Cas," Dean said softly. 

The angel tilted his head. "But - you don't seem happy about it."

Dean huffed a laugh. "I'm not. Sure, I like kids, and maybe deep down I had that same stupid dream that Sammy always did, with the white picket fence and a couple of rugrats..."

Castiel was surprised to hear this, and felt hope begin to bloom inside him. Perhaps they could handle this together, after all?

"But I always pictured it differently, you know? Having a wife and actually planning it all out. Not having to decide between the life of my best friend and telling God to fuck off."

And just that, his hope deflated. Of course Dean would want a _wife_ and a normal life, and not one with a broken, rebellious angel in a male vessel and a Nephilim. Or two.

"So it _was_ against your will, then."

"No, you idiot. There was never a choice. I wanted you to live and so I did what needed to be done. It's that simple." Dean leaned forward in his seat. "Wouldn't you do the same for me?"

Castiel nodded. "Yes, Dean. However, your life is more valuable than mine."

"Bullshit." Dean rolled his eyes. "You're an Angel. You can kick anyone's ass with a flick of the wrist. I'm the one who's expendable."

"All these years together, and you still think that." 

Dean gave a shrug. "I'm just the muscle. Sammy's the one who's got value. The kid's got major talent. He would have been a better candidate for the Angel Baby Daddy Project."

"My father disagrees, and so do I."

"Whatever you say, man."

"So you would rather me raise a child with Sam?"

Dean sputtered at that, looking like he just sucked on a something sour. "What? No! Not that Sammy... I mean you and him... No! That's not -"

"It's okay Dean. I know what you mean."

The hunter relaxed slightly at that.

Castiel glanced out the window, admiring the beautiful ocean and the glistening white sands. He would have to take his fledgling here one day to play. They could sit in the sand together and build sandcastles, and look up at the clouds and pick out animals and flowers and insects. He could picture Dean sitting there with them, a smile on his face and a book in his hand. Vonnegut, most likely. Sam would be sitting next to them, maybe with some nice woman who brings out the light in his eyes. He deserved that.

"So, you're sure that you're not uncomfortable with raising a child - together?"

"Well, yeah Cas. 'Course I am. I got enough issues to fill a waiting room. The kids of hunters never turn out well." He cleared his throat and looked away. 

"We don't have to raise the fledgling like that," Castiel insisted. "You and Sam could retire from all this."

Dean sighed again, leaning back in the chair. "I don't know, man. Just because we're deciding to play Susie Homemaker doesn't mean the big bads are gonna stop trying to fuck everything up."

The shower turned off and Dean got to his feet again. 

"Look. I'm going to help you raise this kid, 'cause he'll be family, and I don't turn my back on family. Besides," Dean said, with a smirk. "Chicks love single dads." 

Sam walked out of the bathroom then and Castiel tried his best to smile, and not show that Dean's words had upset him. He shouldn't have been surprised that this arrangement would be purely platonic, but it still hurt deep down. Well, at least Dean would still be in his life and in the end, that was all that truly mattered.


	11. Chapter 11

Gabriel had seen a lot of truly beautiful and wondrous things in his very long life.

The mountains and lakes that his Father created may have given most people a feeling of awe, but what he loved the most was humanity. The "mudmonkeys" that his siblings seemed to hate with a passion - well, all of them except for Castiel. His brother had changed the rules so many times over the years that he didn't know whether to be proud or annoyed. Humanity was truly a thing to behold. To bear witness to the way they evolved and grew from apes who walked on their knuckles to riding in expensive cars. 

The archangel smiled as he sat on the park bench in a blind woman's eternal fall afternoon. It had been her favorite place when she was alive, because there were so many smells and sounds around her that it made her forget that she couldn't see any of them. The feel of the wind across her skin as it gently rustled the leaves of nearby trees. The smell of the flowers as they bloomed and the buzz of the bees that pollinated them. There was a chill in the air that signaled winter's impending arrival, and that Christmas would soon come after that. It was her favorite holiday because it was the last one that she had ever gotten to see before that desperate thief crossed her path. 

There was a sense of peace and calm here, and it helped him to clear his head when the world was confusing and his thoughts were troubling. His Father had resurrected him, and he had no idea why this time. What was the point? Gabriel had been gone for years, lost in The Big Empty because angels had nowhere else to go when they died forever (a flawed plan, if you asked him). It was the first time that he had ever wished for a soul instead of grace. Time went on forever there because it was never going to end.

It could drive someone mad.

He supposed there was one thing that got him through it all - a person who he had loved before Lucifer slid an angel blade into his chest. Gabriel knew it was ridiculous to hold onto the brief, happy memories of someone who probably didn't even like him, much less love him, but it helped him all the same. That was something else about humanity that both repulsed and fascinated him - love.

When he first died and was sent to The Big Empty, the archangel had been depressed at first - and who wouldn't be really when your own brother had just murdered you? The feeling was something he had never experienced before, and it felt like such a human emotion that he was certain he lost his grace somehow. Gabriel could still feel it inside him though, nestled snuggly in a nest of gold and silver, thrumming wildly and brightly inside his true form. The most valuable thing an angel had. 

Gabriel sighed, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. He could feel the loss of so many of his brothers and sisters that Heaven felt so empty now, almost like a tomb...

"It might as well be."

He startled, looking up to see his Father standing there with a gentle smile on His face. He was still wearing the Chuck Shurley persona for some strange reason, but that was a question for another day.

"Hey, Dad," Gabriel said with little contained bitterness. "Long time."

"Yes, it has been." Chuck walked over and sat down on the bench next to him. 

"How's things?" Gabriel knew the answer to that, but he was feeling a bit slighted, considering how long it had taken for his Father to even remember about him.

"They're - not great, son." Chuck glanced at the blind woman sitting a few feet away, reading one of her many Braille books. "We have suffered many losses in the past decade - longer than that, even."

"I know." Gabriel rested his arm on the back of the bench. "So, why am I here, exactly?"

"I have come up with a plan to rebuild Heaven, and perhaps even lower the risk of rebellious angels and future uprisings."

Gabriel laughed. "So what - You're gonna finally stay home this time, instead of going out for cigarettes and never coming back?"

"Gabriel, I'm being serious."

"So am I." The archangel stood and began to pace. "You left, Dad. Without a word to anyone. None of us knew what to do! We didn't know if You were gone forever!"

Chuck nodded, guilt flashing across His face. "I know. I've tried to deal with that, too."

"Unbelievable." Gabriel continued to pace, angry now and knowing that he was crossing a major line, but he no longer had anything to lose. "You bail on us, force the Winchesters to fight _Your_ battles, and then come back all sad because Your favorite toys are broken and everyone in our family is dead? I don't think so, Dad."

"Gabriel, **enough**." Some of his Father's true voice rang through that command, and the archangel froze in his tracks. 

"Fine. What's Your big plan then? How are You going to fix this?"

Chuck took a deep breath, clearly trying not to lose His temper. "Nephilim."

Now Gabriel just stared in shock. "Come again?"

"You heard Me. Nephilim."

Yep, he _had_ heard that right. His Father really had lost His damn mind somewhere along the line. "How... how are the offspring of Angels and Man going to fix this?"

"It isn't just Me leaving Heaven that caused all this strife. It's much more than that. For years your siblings have hated humanity and all it represented, jealous about their free will and ability to love. This is a way to not only rebuild what We have lost, but to bring real changes to the world."

Gabriel thought about this for a few moments. In a way, his Father's weird plan made a lot of sense. In another, it was madness, because he had witnessed first hand what the Nephilim could become if unchecked. "You know how Nephilim turn out, though. They can turn violent and sadistic. It's that combination of a human soul and an angel's grace that can become completely volatile."

"Yes, but not all of them were evil." Chuck glanced at him again with sorrow on His face. "I thought that they would all turn out that way, so I ordered you and your siblings to destroy them all. I was worried that they would overtake mankind and ruin everything I created. I know now that I was wrong in thinking that."

"You mean there was actually a chance that they... could have turned out _good_?" Gabriel asked, with disbelief. 

Chuck nodded. "Yes. Some of them were."

Gabriel didn't know how to process any of this. He had been one of the angels tasked with killing the Nephilim and it had haunted him for a millennia. He had felt deep inside that some of the ones he came across were actually innocent, but he trusted his Father's word back then. He trusted that he was doing the right thing...

Now, he just felt like an evil bastard. 

"Son, it wasn't your fault." Chuck reached out towards him, placing a hand on his arm, but Gabriel shrugged it off. 

"How were some able to be good and not turn into monsters?" he asked instead, clearing his throat and trying to keep his emotions in check. 

"I think it's the difference between showing someone love and compassion - or showing them hatred and corruption. I suppose it's the same with any child, really. Their upbringing."

Gabriel felt tears threaten to escape his eyes and he quickly brushed them away. "Yeah, I guess You're right. Teach a kid to trust You when they're young, and they will grow up blindly believing everything You say."

"Gabriel, I thought that I was doing the right thing - "

"So did I." The archangel looked up into his Father's eyes, seeing the sorrow and regret there. "But apparently I killed a bunch of innocent people for You. Just take me back to The Big Empty. I deserve to be there."

"No, you don't." 

"How can You say that?" Gabriel scrubbed a hand across his face. "I've done some terrible things in my life. Most of them for You!"

"And now it's time that we both atone for that by fixing our home." Chuck smiled at him. "Help me, son. Don't let their deaths be in vain."

Gabriel sighed, finally flopping back down onto the bench. "Fine. I got nothing better to do. But I'm doing this for my brothers and sisters, not for You."

He seemed saddened at that, but relented with a nod. "Fair enough."

"Where do we begin?"

Chuck snapped His fingers, and a beautiful baby girl appeared in Gabriel's arms, wrapped in a bright yellow blanket with bees embroidered on it. She had rosy pink skin, a dust of freckles across her nose, and the bluest eyes that he had ever seen. It didn't take a genius to figure out who this baby belonged to. 

"Dean and Castiel," Gabriel said, with amusement. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I thought they would be the perfect test subjects," Chuck replied. "The Righteous Man, and the angel who would die for him."

"Look, I ship Destiel just as much as the next guy, but are you sure that Dean Winchester is the right one for the job? The dude has serious daddy issues!"

"Who doesn't?"

Gabriel actually laughed at that. "That's... you got me there."

"I have no doubts about him and his ability to be a father. Now, go give my grandchild to your brother."

"Why am I always the one delivering babies?" Gabriel said, with a shake of his head as he got to his feet again.

"I want you to check on Jack Kline too, please."

"Jack?"

"Your brother Lucifer... had relations with a human woman. Jack is lost and we need to bring him back to the Winchesters where he will be safe."

Gabriel shook his head. "Seems I missed a lot while I was gone."

"One more thing, son."

The archangel slowly turned, wondering what else Chuck could possibly say at this point. "Yes?"

"Say hello to Sam Winchester for Me, would you? I'm sure you're going to want to catch up, after all."

"I - uh - what?" Gabriel sputtered. How the hell could his Dad possibly know how he felt?

Chuck winked at him, then disappeared in a cloud of white smoke.

Gabriel unfurled his 6 golden wings then glanced down at the little bundle in his arms. "Hey there, rugrat. I'm your Uncle Gabe. Looks like we're going to be spending a lot of time together. I'm not sure how any of this is gonna play out, but at least I'll get to be there to see it."

The baby giggled at him, and the two of them flew off towards Earth a moment later.


	12. Chapter 12

Jack was lost.

He didn't know how long he had wandered for, or even what day it was. Truth be told, he didn't even really understand what 'days' were. When he was inside his mother's womb, he had heard bits and pieces of conversation between her and Castiel. He had some minimum knowledge about humanity in general thanks to that, but not nearly enough to get him very far. 

He could hear loud noises coming from the large, strange, metal things that whipped by him on the road. He could see people inside them, their faces turned to him in anger and confusion, as he continued forward on his path. Why they were angry, he had no idea. He was well out of their way and not hindering their journey at all. Maybe humans were just inherently angry.

Jack had no clue where he was going - he just knew that he was alone.

His father Castiel was gone, _dead_ , according to Sam Winchester. 'Dead' seemed to mean gone forever. His mother was also dead, currently lying in her bed in that lakehouse that he was born in. Oh, she once had such high hopes for the two of them. Kelly dreamed of a world where she could live happily ever after with Jack as a baby, teaching him something called 'the ABC'S' and watching something called a cartoon that featured a tall, yellow creature with feathers. He didn't understand what the creature was, but it seemed to bring Kelly joy when she thought of it. 

The world was already such a cruel place. He was almost happy that Kelly and Castiel no longer had to live in it anymore. 

More loud noises filled the air as the big metal things rolled past, but he ignored them. He couldn't just attack them for making noises, could he? He supposed that sort of thing might be frowned upon. For the brief moments that he was inside Castiel's head, he could see that a lot of humans were very violent in their own way, harming each other and killing each other. It was always for trivial things, too, like the color of one's skin, or the gender that someone fell in love with. These were concepts that made no sense to Jack. Why were humans so concerned about what color someone else's skin was? Why did it matter who someone else loved? Were they really so concerned with it that violence was the only answer?

It was something he would have to investigate further.

Castiel didn't believe in needless violence though - not like he once did when he was following a mission. He only acted when someone he cared for was in danger. That was the example that Jack had to follow. Deep down, below the surface, he could feel the tiny sparks of Lucifer's influence on him, stretching out like long, clawlike fingers across his being. Those sparks urged him to attack the humans that moved by him, yelled at him, made the strange noises. Maybe it was there long before he was born, that half of him that was his father's son, an inescapable truth that would remain no matter how moral he became. Kelly didn't want Jack to be like Lucifer though - she wanted him to be like Castiel.

The bright, yellow ball of light in the sky hung overhead and blinded him whenever he looked up at it. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but the humans didn't seem bothered by it, so neither would he. He continued to walk forward until he finally came across a small blue building that was just off the road with the big metal things on it. It was the first building he had seen since the ball of light appeared today, so he decided that maybe it was time for him to seek help from the humans.

Delicious smells wafted in the air as he approached the building, causing his stomach to make an odd sound. He looked down at it in confusion. What did that mean? Was he dying somehow? Fear coursed through him as he stood there frozen, hand held to his belly. Would the humans inside know what to do? Could they even help someone like him?

More to the point, what _was_ he? 

He began stumbling towards the small building, the smell growing stronger and his stomach making that weird growling noise once more. Whatever was happening to him was getting exponentially worse, and he had to do something quickly before it was too late. He pushed the doors open so hard that one of the glass panes fell out from the frame, crashing to the ground and landing in a million little pieces. The delicious smell was so intense now that he could feel himself salivating. He walked forward, shuffling along the blue tiled floor with his bare feet, towards the short man that stood behind the counter with the black hat. The man didn't seemed shocked to see him there - almost like he was expecting him. 

"Hey there," he said to Jack, giving him a big smile. 

"I think I might be dying," Jack sputtered out, resting a hand on the counter. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled again to prove his point.

The man glanced down at Jack's belly with amusement. "Dying? Far from it, bud. Give me a second." He made a circular motion with his wrist, and suddenly a full plate of food was in his hand. "I think this is what you need."

Jack leapt at the plate, grabbing the oddly shaped thing with the strange leaves and brown discs, and hesitantly put it to his lips. The delicious smell was coming from this! He quickly took a bite, some of the juice dribbling down his chin as he began hastily eating it - whatever it was. Within moments, the entire thing was completely devoured, the only evidence of it being there was the grease that was running down his fingers. 

"Good burger, huh? My own recipe. It has taken centuries to perfect."

"More," Jack muttered.

"What?"

"More!"

The man behind the counter sighed and made another burger appear in his hand. This one had three brown discs instead of two. Jack quickly snatched it and began to devour that as well.

"Growing boy. I get it. If I didn't know you were Lucy's kid I'd think you were related to Dean. Just like this little tyke." He gestured to the right of him.

Jack paused his assault on the hamburger to follow the man's line of sight. It was then he saw a tiny baby on the counter, wrapped in a yellow blanket and wearing the same hat that the other man was, only much smaller. His eyes widened as he looked back at the other man. "Is this your spawn?"

The man laughed at the wording. "My _spawn_? That's one way to put it, I suppose. But no, she isn't mine."

"You stole her then?" Jack demanded. If this man stole an innocent baby, he would be forced to attack him. That was certainly something Castiel would do if an innocent life was in danger, right?

The man put his hands up. "Easy, tiger. She's my niece. We've been waiting here for you for hours."

Jack took a step back, the burger temporarily forgotten. "Why? Who are you?"

"Name's Gabriel. I'm your uncle."

"Gabriel." Jack heard someone mention the name before, but he couldn't remember who. "You know my father?"

"Lucy? Sure. He's my big brother."

 _Lucy? "_ No, Castiel."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Interesting."

"Castiel is my true father," Jack said with conviction.

"Well kid, you sure picked a good one, then. Better than the one you were born with, anyway. If only we _all_ were so lucky." Gabriel glanced skywards. Jack didn't understand what that meant.

He watched as Gabriel walked over to the baby, allowing her to grab onto his thumb with her tiny hand. She cooed and giggled as he moved it back and forth, soft little bubbles forming at her mouth. 

"He's dead."

Gabriel looked up. "What?"

"Castiel. The hunter, Sam Winchester, told me that he was dead."

"No, God came to Earth and saved him. He's okay now."

Jack felt joy course through him at that new knowledge. "He did?"

"Yep." Gabriel began rocking the baby slowly back and forth. "He's back at the bunker with the Winchesters. Which is where I'm going to take you once you're done eating." He glanced at Jack. "And after you've put on some clothes."

Clothes. That again. Were humans really so modest? He supposed he would do it if that was what was expected of him. He was just eager to get back to Castiel. 

Maybe he wasn't so lost anymore. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

It was a beautiful summer day in Texas. 

The beach was fairly crowded for a Monday, but the three men managed to find a spot to sit at near a hot dog vendor. The blue ocean waves crashed against the shore while children laughed and played in the sand. A few dogs ran around, occasionally jumping into the water when the tide was low. An elderly couple held hands while they waded in the water, giggling like teenagers on a first date. It was truly a wonderful scene, one that the brothers were hoping they might be able to experience again in the near future. 

They never had time for normal things like this before. Sure, they took breaks in between cases, but they were generally so tired and worn down that all they wanted to do was sleep. Taking random trips like this was out of the question.

Dean watched as Castiel walked over to the ocean, gingerly dipping one toe into the water. He wasn't sure what was more amusing - the angel's bright yellow swim trunks that he insisted Dean buy, or his clear aversion to water. Maybe it was a bit of both. 

"He seems happy," Sam remarked, as he leaned back in his red camping chair. 

"He seems confused," Dean said with a laugh. 

"You seem happy, too."

Once again, Sam was trying to have one of his patented chick flick moments. After last night's talk with Castiel, he was not in the mood for one with his prying brother. "Yeah, I guess."

"Cas is alive. You're gonna be a dad - "

Dean rolled his eyes and took a sip of his soda. "Is there a point to this, Sammy?"

"I was just wondering if you're alright. You've been through a lot lately."

The older man shrugged. "So? We both have."

"I know it hurt you when Cas died."

"Sam." Yeah, he _really_ didn't want to talk about this.

"But I want you to know that I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk about it."

Dean crushed his now empty can and stuck it into a garbage bag attached to the chair. "He's back now. There's nothing to talk about."

Sam was quiet for a little while then, and Dean began to hope that his brother had finally decided to change the subject.

"I saw you break down, Dean. I've never seen you so upset."

No such luck, apparently.

"My best friend got killed in front of me. How did you expect me to react?"

"You prayed to God."

"So did you."

"I was desperate. But I've never seen you pray to anyone but Cas before."

The brothers watched as the Angel sat down in the sand and looked out over the water. It was still amazing to Dean that this millennium-old being chose to stay with them and do such mundane tasks like go to the beach or get groceries. Dean didn't understand why Castiel stayed. Surely being with them wasn't more interesting than running missions for God?

"Maybe I was desperate, too."

Sam smiled a little at that. "It worked, though. He came through for us."

"If only He had done that years ago," Dean muttered. 

"He's trying to change things," Sam replied. "I'm willing to give Him the benefit of the doubt."

Dean huffed a laugh and pulled out another soda. "You always were more trusting than me."

"Let's see how it goes. He did bring Cas back, and He didn't have to."

"Of course He did. He wanted us to be pawns in His little experiment. Can't do that if one of the pawns is dead."

"I think it could work, Dean," Sam said, snagging a granola bar from the cooler. "Let's give it a chance."

"I _am_ giving it a chance. That's why I signed up for diaper changes, sleepless nights, and an 18-year commitment."

"With Cas."

"Yeah, well. At least it's not with some random lady Angel who I'd probably hate." Dean leaned back in his chair. "Who would probably hate me too, let's be honest."

"You'll be a great father, Dean."

"Thanks, Sammy." He really hoped that he would be, because he couldn't fail this kid the way that John Winchester failed them.

"I mean it. You practically raised me, way more than Dad ever did. I never went without food or clothes. I always had a new backpack every year for school."

"I did what I had to," Dean said with a shrug. "You needed things, so I found ways to provide them."

"I've never forgotten it, Dean. Thank you for that," Sam continued, emotion cracking his voice. "Experiment or not, I know you'll do amazing."

The older hunter simply nodded, not wanting his own voice to betray just how much Sam's words had touched him. He had been having doubts about the whole situation, torn between wanting to call up Chuck and beg Him to pick someone else, or take Castiel up on his offer to raise the baby on his own. But Dean knew that he couldn't do either of those things. He had to man up and do what was right - not what was easy. 

Sam thoughtfully took a few bites of his snack. "So have you decided if you're gonna keep hunting?"

Dean nodded. He'd been thinking about that a lot lately, too. "We can't quit completely, not yet anyway. There's still evil sons of bitches out there who want a piece of us. But I am going to take fewer cases than we've been doing. I'm not gonna leave my kid alone for weeks at a time like Dad did. Just until Jody and the girls get a system going, at least."

"You're not him."

"I know, that's why I'm doing it this way. Me and Cas can alternate with you on jobs, that way someone is always at home with the baby."

"That sounds like a good plan."

"Of course it is. I thought it up."

Sam gestured to Castiel. "You do know that I can alternate with him instead, right? I don't mind staying back and babysitting."

"Either way. I guess we'll hash out the details later. Anyway, what do ya say we get into the water already, huh?"

The two brothers stood and walked over to where Castiel was sitting, ready to enjoy their much-needed vacation. 


	14. Chapter 14

Halfway through the week, the three men decided to go into town and get some provisions.

The hunters were starting to get antsy, not used to having absolutely nothing to do for once. Their whole lives had just been about getting to the next case - certainly not about which restaurant to eat at, or what movie to go see. For the angel, it was waiting for the next mission, and training with his brothers and sisters. That came first, above anything else. Now, they had literally been ordered by God to take a few vacation days.

In some ways, it was nice not to have to throw themselves headlong into danger, not knowing if they would come out on the other side alive or dead. In others, it was kind of... _boring_. Castiel supposed that once the baby came into their lives, everything was going to get much more busy, with little to no downtime. From what he understood about human offspring, they were fairly difficult to rear. A Nephilim child would be even harder.

They walked into Walmart in the early afternoon on Wednesday, each with a different goal in mind. Sam wanted to buy more of his 'rabbit food', as Dean called it, and the older Winchester wanted to stock up on beer and pie. Castiel decided that this would be a good opportunity to investigate the baby aisle to see what all the fuss was about. Surely, raising a child would at least be easier than fighting a horde of demons?

The men broke off into separate directions, and Castiel searched for the telltale signs of blue and pink - though he would never understand why genders were assigned specific colors. Another human thing that baffled him.

It wasn't long before he found it, and for a few moments, he simply gazed into the long aisle full of baby necessities that nearly had him running in the opposite direction. Did babies really require this much? Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside the sea of yellows, green, blues and pinks. There were strollers, car seats, rows of formula, stuffed animals, water, baby food, toys, diapers everything you could think of. He felt overwhelmed at the sight of it all, wondering for the fifth time that week if he and Dean were in over their heads. The angel had never raised anyone before. Sure, Samandriel had been younger than he was and occasionally Castiel watched over him, but that wasn't exactly raising. He had his older brothers there to take on that task.

_Samandriel..._

Sadness swept through him as he remembered his youngest brother, and how he had died at Castiel's hand. That was one death that he didn't think he could ever forgive himself for. It didn't matter that Naomi was the one controlling him - _he_ was the one who controlled the blade.

He paused near a bright pink _Hello Kitty_ car seat, trying to imagine it strapped inside the Impala. A low chuckle escaped him at the thought. There was no way that Dean would allow it in his prized vehicle. 

He moved on to the next car seat; this one was black and yellow with a bat symbol on the headrest. Castiel knew that he had seen this symbol before somewhere, but he couldn't remember what it was from. Either way, this one would probably be a more acceptable choice. He would have to show Dean later.

Next, he looked at the strollers. Castiel didn't quite understand the purpose of these. Why couldn't parents just carry their young around? They were small enough, and surely they weren't that heavy. 

"There you are."

He turned, seeing Dean standing at the end of the aisle with a 6-pack of beer in one hand, and an apple pie in the other.

"Why are you holding those?" Castiel asked.

"Can't find Sammy. He's probably looking at books or something, like the big nerd he is."

"Let me help you." The Angel started walking towards him. 

"Nah, I got it. Thanks, man." Dean smiled at Castiel then glanced around him. Slight panic and apprehension flickered on his features. "Baby aisle, huh?"

"I thought it would be wise to see what I'm - what _we're_ \- getting into."

The hunter huffed a laugh. "Dirty diapers, crying, tantrums, long nights - I could go on."

"That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"It's not." Dean moved further into the aisle, his green eyes scanning the shelves. "But try being a 4-year-old and dealing with all that."

Castiel frowned. He had never been much of a John Winchester fan, and hearing stories like this only validated that feeling. Sam and Dean should have had a happy childhood, not one where they learned that the monsters under the bed were real. "He left you alone to care for your 6-month-old brother?"

Dean gave a shrug of his shoulders. "When my mom died, he became obsessed with finding out what happened. Fatherhood took a major back seat to revenge. He'd leave a stolen credit card for us on the counter and go to work, and it would be my job to feed Sammy and me. For weeks, sometimes."

"I'm so sorry, Dean."

The hunter waved him off. "Not your fault, Cas. At least it gave me a little experience in how to wrap a diaper. Hey, look! Batman!"

 _Batman_. That's right. Dean's favorite superhero. 

"I was considering getting that for the fledgling," Castiel said, pointing to it. "I suspected that you wouldn't be too happy with the hot pink model."

"You suspected right," Dean replied, looking with disdain at the car seat in question. "But we're definitely getting the Batman one."

"Do you want me to get it now?" the angel asked.

"Yeah, let me just - "

"Aww. New baby on the way?" 

They both turned at the new voice. A beautiful young woman stood there, with blonde silky hair and a perfectly white smile. She wore a Walmart apron over a yellow sundress, and a name tag that read 'Kelsie'. Dean flashed a grin at her. 

"Hey there, Kelsie. Yeah, I'm adopting a kid in a few days. The uh - mother died in childbirth." 

Castiel looked at the hunter in confusion, but thought it was best not to contradict him. 

"Oh my gosh, that's horrible!" Kelsie said, taking a few steps forward to put a hand on Dean's arm. "That poor baby!"

"Yeah. She was a good friend of mine. Taking in her newborn was the least that I could do."

"Wow. Most people wouldn't do that sort of thing!"

Dean shrugged, leaning against the shelf. "I'm not most people. I'm just trying to do what's right."

"You're an honorable man, Mr. - "

Dean extended his hand. "Bowie. David Bowie."

Kelsie burst into laughter and shook it. "Come on, that has to be an alias."

Dean shook his head. "Nope. My parents were hardcore fans of his. Went to every concert. According to my mom, I was even conceived at one."

"I love David Bowie!" she said excitedly. "Had his posters all over my room growing up."

Castiel moved a few feet away from the hunter and his new interest, feeling like an awkward third wheel. He tried to ignore the feeling of jealousy that pooled inside him, staring blankly at the baby toys and desperately wishing he could mute the conversation. He should be used to this by now, having spent so many years around the brothers. He didn't understand why it suddenly hurt to witness it.

"That's awesome," Dean was saying. "We should get together sometime, and talk about our Bowie obsession."

She smiled shyly at him, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Well, I get off in a couple hours. How about we do it then?"

"Sounds like a plan, Kelsie. Pick you up at 5, then?"

She nodded. "I'll be waiting by the front doors." She glanced at her watch. "Oh! I have to get back to work. See you later, David!" She hurried off in the other direction.

Dean turned back to Castiel. "And that, my friend, is how you do it." He patted the angel on his back. "I knew that being a single dad would be awesome."

Castiel said nothing, feeling like someone had just stabbed him with an angel blade again. 

"Alright. Grab the car seat and let's get a few other things while we're here."

The angel did as he was asked, carefully taking the box labeled _Batman Car Seat_ off the shelf and following Dean to the stroller section. One question kept circling his mind as Dean rambled on about where he would be taking the girl on their date:  
Was he in love with Dean?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone for their lovely comments and kudos! I have enjoyed writing this story a lot. This will probably be the last chapter I add for the day, so look forward to more during this week :)

Dean picked Kelsie up a few minutes before five. He felt good tonight, wearing a new pair of dark blue jeans and a green button-down shirt - both of which accented his features prominently. He looked damn good, if he said so himself.

It had been a long time since he went out with anyone, and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't nervous. Their lives never allowed much time for the occasional date with a beautiful lady. Part of him hadn't even been interested in doing that for some reason, even if there had been time. He had been happier lately just staying at home and watching Netflix or HBO with Castiel. 

She strolled up to the Impala with a bright smile and her Walmart apron draped across her arm. She opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. "Hey, David. Good to see you again."

"Hiya, Kels." Dean grinned at her and drove towards the exit of the parking lot. "How was work?"

She sighed, buckling her seat belt. "For the most part, it was fine. But then every once in a while, I get these customers who seem to think that I'm to blame for all their problems."

"Sorry to hear that. People can be real assholes."

"Ain't that the truth?" Kelsie rolled her window down, closing her eyes while the wind swept through her blonde hair. "God, I love that breeze. It's so damn hot today."

Dean had to admit that she was really beautiful, and wondered how some lucky guy hadn't snatched her up yet. Maybe she was one of those psycho exes that keyed cars and set clothes on fire. That would be just his luck.

"So, where are ya taking me?"

"Found this nice little cafe in town earlier after we left Walmart," he replied, turning down Main Street. "Which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in a million years."

She laughed. "But you sounded so cute saying it!"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't you ever tell anyone, especially my brother."

"Cross my heart, David."

He pulled into the cafe a moment later, aptly named _Southern Hospitality_ , and together they walked towards the red, country-style door. A friendly looking older woman stood at the front, a pencil tucked into her silver-blonde bun and green-rimmed glasses perched on her nose.

"Well hello there!" she greeted warmly. "Table for two?"

Dean nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

She waved him off. "Oh, pish posh. Call me Miss Charlotte. Everyone else does." She gestured to them. "Come along, now! Got a nice seat for y'all in the back. All nice and cozy like," she added, with a wink.

The two of them followed her to a cherry red booth near a large bay window, and Miss Charlotte placed menus in front of them once they got settled in. Dean wasn't used to courtesy like this. Most of the places he went to had waitresses that wanted to be anywhere but there. He had grown up around that though, truck stops and old diners off the beaten path. 

Once they had ordered their drinks to start, the older woman bustled away, finally leaving them alone to talk.

"So, you mentioned you had a brother?" Kelsie asked, after they had both been quiet for a few minutes. 

Dean nodded, grateful for the assist. It had been so long since he had been out with someone other than Sam or Castiel, that he found himself floundering a bit. "Yep. He's a few years younger than me."

"Oh, was he the one you were with earlier?"

"The dude in the trenchcoat? Nah, that's my best friend, Cas."

Miss Charlotte brought their drinks at that moment, and they both thanked her for her hospitality. After taking their orders, she walked away once again, pausing long enough to scold an older man a few tables away for ordering extra gravy on his Salisbury steak.

"Cas, huh? Is it short for something?"

"Castiel."

Kelsie laughed. "That's a strange name."

"Yeah, his uh - Father was very religious." If she only knew who his father _actually_ was...

"Ugh. Yeah, I get it. My mom raised me super strict - a Catholic, you know? Nothing I did was ever good enough. Everything I did was a sin and I was gonna burn in hell." She looked embarrassed then, absently fiddling with the straw wrapper. "Sorry. My fucked up past isn't exactly a good first date topic, is it?"

Dean leaned back in the booth, amused. "Don't worry. I got issues that would probably give you a run for your money." Especially since he had literally burned in hell before. Ah, good times. 

She took a sip of her lemonade. "Yeah. I guess we all do."

"In the end, it's how you deal with them that counts."

She nodded. "That's true. How do you deal with yours?"

That was a loaded question. How _did_ he deal with all of it? He knew that he drank a lot and killed a lot of big bads, but none of it actually helped the problem - nothing except Castiel of course.

The angel had been a shining star in his life. He was the only person other than Sam who believed in him and always stood by his side without question. Dean could walk into a nest full of vampires, and he would know that without a single doubt, Castiel would watch out for him. Loyalty and trust were rare commodities in the hunting world, and he treasured Castiel's immensely. He realized over the years that he didn't tell the angel just how much Dean appreciated him, but he did try to show Castiel in other ways. This trip was one of them. Dean wanted to treat him like his best friend, like the family he was, instead of just a weapon to use whenever he needed.

That was another major reason why he had accepted Chuck's deal in the first place. It wasn't just to bring Castiel back, even though that would have been a good enough reason on its own. It was also because Dean trusted him with everything he had. He knew that if the baby was ever in danger, the angel would do whatever it took to keep their kid safe, even if it meant tossing Dean into the sun to do it.

Dean couldn't tell Kelsie all that, of course, so he'd have to give her the watered down version. That was just one of the many downsides to dating a civilian. You couldn't actually be 100% honest with them. "I guess it would be my support system," he finally said. "My brother Sam, and Cas - they're the only family I've got left. We always got each other's backs. No matter what life throws at us."

"Wow, that truly sounds wonderful. I need to find some friends like that."

"I'm lucky to have them."

He loved how he could be himself around Castiel, too. There were so many times over the years when he would come home from a case, battered and beaten, and the Angel would immediately heal him and listen to him rant and rave - sometimes for hours. There was no judgment with him or criticism. Castiel really heard him, in ways that no one else had. Dean loved Sam, but sometimes he felt like they were on different wavelengths. Sure, occasionally the angel would lecture him if Dean took too big of a risk without asking for help, but Dean would do the same in his position. He couldn't really fault the guy for that.

"David? Are you alright?"

He was snapped back to the present and found Kelsie's concerned blue eyes peering at him.

_Huh. Cas' eyes were so much bluer than hers..._

"Sorry," he answered. "I was just thinking about Sam and Cas and all we've been through."

"I understand."

It really seemed like she wanted to understand, and he appreciated her for that. He couldn't help feel a little guilty though despite it.

"So, how did you and Cas meet?"

"I was... Going through a bad situation, and he pulled me out of it."

"He sounds like a good friend."

_A good friend. Right._

It was just too bad that Castiel had the wrong parts, because he had a feeling they would have been more if he did. Not that it was a subject he'd thought about a whole lot, but it had occurred to him here and there just how close they were. Even if he was gay, he could never go down that road with Castiel. It would be too much of a huge risk. The potential to lose the angel would be too high - and he had already done that more times than he could count. 

Besides, his angel deserved better. Much better. 

Which was why he was here, he supposed. He would get a companion for the night to let out all that extra tension - to hold, to talk to. To fuck. Maybe even to pretend that he was just a normal guy passing through town, and not some asshole who drank whiskey like it was water and hated his father. Fake it til ya' make it. The Winchester Way. 

"...such a beautiful day today," Kelsie was saying, but he realized that he couldn't care less.

He now remembered why he didn't go on dates more often. You had to put a certain amount of commitment into it, and Dean didn't think he had it in him, especially with everything that was currently going on in his life. He was on vacation with his best friend and his brother, for the first time in - well, _ever_ \- and he was going to be a father in a few days. He had just watched Crowley kill himself and Castiel get murdered right in front of him. Being here with Kelsie was stupid.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Dean asked abruptly.

The smile slipped from Kelsie's face. "I'm sorry?"

"How about we go back to your place, and skip dinner?" He flashed her his award-winning grin, but the woman in front of him was less than impressed. Perfect.

"David, I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I don't have sex with people I just met."

He felt like a douchebag, but maybe it was better this way. They would only be in town for a couple more days at the most, and he doubted that he would actually call her once he got back home.

"Sorry. Guess I misread the situation."

She glared at him, folding her hands in her lap. "Yeah, I guess you did. You know, I really thought you were different, but you're just like all the other guys out there."

"You're probably right."

"Can you take me home, please? I think I've lost my appetite."

He could at least do that much, considering what an asshole he was. 


	16. Chapter 16

Castiel was acting strangely tonight - well, stranger than he _usually_ did, anyway. 

It all began when the three men returned to the motel and Dean happily announced his plans for the evening. The angel seemingly began to avoid eye contact with the hunter entirely, choosing to focus on the new episode of _Midnight_ , _Texas._ While Dean rambled on about how amazing and hot Kelsie was, Castiel looked like he had just swallowed another group of Leviathans. It might have been amusing, if it wasn't obvious that he was clearly bothered by something.

Then, soon after Dean left for his date, the angel started glancing at the window every few minutes, as if he was expecting someone to come crashing through the window at any minute. Sam became increasingly nervous about this, his hunter's instincts going into overdrive and urging him to grab the gun from his duffel bag and prepare for the worst. He knew that it was probably just paranoia because if there was any actual danger, Castiel would tell him so. Still, after the 20th time of seeing Castiel look towards the parking lot, Sam decided he needed answers. 

He closed his laptop and walked over to his friend, plopping down on the couch beside him. "Hey, Cas."

"Sam."

"Everything alright? You keep looking out the window like you're worried about something. it's starting to make me just a little bit on edge."

Guilt briefly flashed across Castiel's face as he understood what Sam was concerned about. "My apologies. I didn't realize I was doing that."

"It's okay, man. I just needed to know if we needed to arm ourselves or not."

Castiel shook his head. "I will protect you Sam, should the need arise."

Sam smiled and patted the other man's shoulder. "Thanks. I got your back, too."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each of them half-watching the show. It was obvious that since he had been caught, Castiel was trying his best not to look towards the window. He began to fidget instead, folding and unfolding his hands in his lap.

"So what's going on then, if you're not expecting company?" Sam pushed further, still not convinced that everything was alright.

The angel almost looked embarrassed now, avoiding Sam's inquiring gaze. "I prefer to stay on guard, just in case someone does decide to attack. I _was_ a soldier of God once, Sam, and you and Dean are still my charges." 

Sam knew that there was way more to it than that. "Come on, Cas. You can tell me anything. You do know that, right?" 

The angel tilted his head. "I assure you I'm -"

"Cas, if you're hiding something majorly important that could put Dean and I in danger, you _need_ to tell me now so that we can get ahead of it - whatever it is."

"You and Dean are safe, have no fear."

"And what about you?"

Castiel smiled wistfully. "I am irrelevant."

The angel's broken words caused Sam's heart to ache. Castiel meant so much to both of the brothers, that Sam couldn't imagine a world without Castiel in it. "No, you're not." Sam leaned forward, trying to get the angel to look at him. It was proving difficult, since he seemed to want to look everywhere but Sam's face. "You're our friend, Cas our _family_."

Castiel said nothing in reply, so Sam continued.

"You're like a brother to me. Do you understand that?"

Now the angel's blue eyes finally flickered over to him, clearly surprised at his admission. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well, it's true. When you... When you _died_ , it was devastating for me. It felt like a piece of me died with you." Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And then Dean was so grief-stricken that I thought he would crawl into a whiskey bottle and stay there forever. I didn't know how to fix it."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Lucifer was the one who caused it. He ruined Kelly Kline's life, and all for power and destruction."

"I wish I could have saved her, at least," Castiel said quietly. "She wouldn't listen to me when I told her how dangerous it was to keep her child."

"Is that why you're upset?"

Castiel shook his head. "I will always feel regret for that, Sam. Too many lives have been lost, all in the name of Heaven. But that's not the reason I'm... troubled."

"Then let me help you, Cas. Like you have always helped us over the years."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Sam. You have become a brother to me as well."

"Thanks."

"But, despite your intelligence and strength, I don't think even you can change things."

Then it finally clicked in his head, and he felt like an idiot for not noticing it sooner; so much for his "intelligence". Castiel had only been window watching since Dean had left. He was upset that the hunter was out on a date. 

"This is about Dean, isn't it?" Sam asked softly. 

The angel looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're -"

"Cas, it's okay. Really. I would never say anything until you're ready."

"It doesn't matter if I'm ready or not, because Dean will never be. I have accepted that."

"You don't know that."

The Angel stood and walked a few feet away, his back turned towards Sam. "I have seen so many things over the years. Death, destruction, war, pain and love - the most powerful emotion of all. I have seen humanity fall in love a million different ways, and each time it's truly remarkable. I can see why you are my Father's greatest creation."

Sam knew how powerful love could be from experience. He and Dean were always so willing to trade their souls away just so the other could live. Now though, Dean might have an actual chance of finding love with someone who knew him as well as Sam did. it was something he had always hoped for, except Dean never opened his heart to anyone. 

"You love Dean," Sam said, not a question, but a statement. He supposed he had always had his suspicions, considering everything Castiel had given up in the name of Dean Winchester. His brother could walk through the door right now and announce his plans to overthrow the world, and the angel would follow him right into it without a second thought. 

Castiel gave a short nod. "I didn't understand it before. I thought my attachment to him was simply my determination to fulfill my mission of keeping him safe. The truth is, Dean stopped needing me years ago."

Sam stood and walked over to him. "That's not true, Cas. He will probably always need you, and so will I."

"I think I might need him more," Castiel replied, his voice raw with emotion. It was such a strange thing to see the angel have tears in his eyes. This fierce warrior who had been in thousands of battles was now experiencing romantic love for the very first time, and he had no idea how to deal with it. "When my brother pushed that blade through my heart, my first thought wasn't that I was afraid to die - I've faced death before. That is not what's scary to me. It was that - that I would never see Dean again."

Sam nodded, swallowing down emotions of his own. "I'm so sorry that we couldn't save you. I feel like I failed you when you needed me the most..."

Castiel smiled at him, turning and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I truly appreciate that Sam, but you would have only died at Lucifer's hand for your attempt. I don't blame either of you for it."

"I'm really glad you're back. Life wouldn't have been the same without you."

"I am as well, though I'm nervous about being a father for the first time." 

Sam chuckled a bit, leaning against the back of the couch. "You'll do fine. Dean's a great dad, and he can teach you the ropes."

The angel looked out the window again. "Yes, I suppose he is."

"Cas... are you ever going to tell him how you feel?"

"No, and you can't either," Castiel replied, clearly panicked at the thought. "It could ruin everything between us. I don't expect to be anything more than friends."

"But -"

"Sam. I appreciate your attempt to see me happy, but there's no way to change this. Dean is who he is, attracted only to women, and while I may have no gender, my vessel does. He won't be able to see past that." Castiel sighed. "Please just keep this between us."

The hunter nodded. "Alright. I promise. I just hope that one day you'll reconsider."

"I can't lose Dean over this. I'm just happy to have him in my life." Castiel walked towards the door and opened it. "I'm... going to get some air. Thank you for the conversation." He shut the door behind him, effectively closing the subject for the time being.

Sam really hoped that one day the angel _would_ reconsider, because he doubted very highly that his brother would ever get his head out of his ass and see what was right in front of him to make the first move himself.   



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was pretty emotional for me to write. I hope I captured that for you, my readers. Tell me what you think.

After the emotional talk with Sam, Castiel found himself leaving the hotel and walking down towards the beach a few yards away. The area was mostly empty now, save for a young couple who were cuddling on a blanket and watching the waves hit the shore.

He paused for a minute, watching the two humans as they held each other close. 

Each woman was very clearly in love with the other, with every little movement and motion that they made. The way their hands would caress each other's skin, so softly and delicately, like they were made of glass. The way they would gaze into each other's eyes, as if they were the only two people in the world. Every once in a while, the blonde would turn to look at the redhead, watching her reactions to the beautiful scene with an expression of pure awe and adoration on her face. When she looked away, the redhead would do the same in turn, flashing a wide, toothy smile at the woman in her arms. 

He could see the bright shining souls of the couple, both singing loudly to the Heavens. A true match that would last lifetimes, and surpass generations. It was a story that every human dreamed of - and some angels, too. 

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Castiel quickly turned, seeing his Father standing a few feet away. "Yes, it is."

Chuck walked up closer to him, sticking his hands in his pockets and gazing skyward. "They are going to have the most amazing shared Heaven someday. It will look exactly like this place, and this very moment."

The angel glanced at the couple again, seeing them kiss each other deeply, passionately. "Love is such a hard thing to find."

"And even harder to keep."

"Why are you here, Father?" Castiel asked, with a bit of an edge in his voice. Perhaps He had changed his mind about the experiment, and had come to deliver the bad news personally.

"Do I need a reason to see my own son?" 

"No, I was just curious. It's not like we have spent a lot of time together as of late."

Chuck frowned, guilt flashing across his face. "I am truly sorry for that."

The two of them began walking along the shore, further away from the couple who were now getting more intimate than was probably allowed on a public beach. 

"I thought that it was time we had a long overdue talk."

Castiel huffed a laugh. "Long overdue doesn't quite begin to cover it."

"I know, Son. I know." 

They came across a lone bench that sat at the edge of the shore, old and wooden with forest green paint chipping off the legs from all the seawater that kept hitting it. They both sat down, ignoring the water that was soaking into their shoes and the hems of their pants. They reached a companionable silence for the next few minutes, each lost in their own deep thoughts. 

"I hope you don't feel that I forced you into parenthood."

Castiel shook his head. "I don't feel that way at all. My concern is that _Dean_ has been forced into it."

His Father chuckled. "Dean Winchester forced into being a parent... and here I thought you knew him so well, Castiel."

The angel looked at him in confusion. "I _do_ know him very well. I know everything about him."

"Then you would realize that being a father has always been a dream of his."

"Yes, but not raising a child with... with _me_."

Chuck leaned back in his seat. "Ah, yes. His very _male_ best friend."

"Yes."

"Do you know why you and Dean have such a deep connection? A 'profound bond' as you called it once." 

Castiel thought for a moment before answering. "Because we have been through much together. We have fought and died and bled for each other."

"So have you and Sam. Are you and he that close?"

"Well, we are close but -"

"But not the way you and Dean are."

"No." 

"You and he have so much in common. You're soulmates. First and foremost. Before the friendship, before whatever potential romance might happen between you two. You understand each other on a level that not even the Winchester brothers do."

Castiel thought back to everything that he and the hunter had been through over the years. From the moment he had saved Dean from Hell, there had been a strong connection between them - one that he had tried hard to fight at the beginning. Getting close to humans was against angel protocol, after all, especially a human like Dean Winchester. Yet somehow, he found himself confiding in the hunter, saving his life just as Dean did for him. Actually enjoying spending time with him, and doing mundane things like grocery shopping or binge watching Netflix. While he enjoyed Sam's company on a more intellectual level, it wasn't the same at all. 

"You both have daddy issues, let's be honest. Sorry for that, by the way," Chuck said, with a wave.

"No problem," Castiel replied dryly. 

"You both also have low opinions of yourselves, despite how heroic you two are."

"Dean is the one that is heroic. I am just -" He faltered, trying to figure out what he was trying to say exactly.

"Irrelevant?" Chuck answered, a bit sadly. "Is that what you truly believe, My son?"

Castiel looked down at his hands, embarrassed and ashamed that his Father had heard the admission. "I used to think my purpose was to follow your will, completely and without question. A weapon for you to use against the evil of the world. But something has changed since I met Dean."

"You fell in love."

"I couldn't admit it at first," the angel said softly. "I couldn't even... understand it. I just know that being around him, and being useful - it brought me joy. And fear."

"Fear that he wouldn't accept you, or love you back."

"Dean loves me," Castiel replied, looking up at the stars. "I just don't think that it's the same way that I love him."

"Only time will tell."

"I'm sorry that I am no longer a soldier of Heaven, Father. You must be so disappointed in me."

Chuck put a hand on his shoulder. "You will always be a soldier of Heaven, but more than that you are the Winchester's guardian. It was My plan all along, after all."

Castiel was confused at that. "You... you _wanted_ me to be their guardian? To choose them over You?"

"Free will, remember? I wanted people to have it so that they could choose their own path, whatever that might be. There is no right or wrong unless it harms others on _their_ path. I wish some of these people who 'worship' Me would understand that."

"Naomi said I was born with a crack in my chassis," Castiel said, remembering a time long ago when Naomi had made him feel utterly useless.

"No, you were born with the capacity to love, and to feel, and to do what was right. You have _always_ done what was right, Castiel, no matter the mission. No matter what they all told you to do. You are _not_ broken, and you are not irrelevant. You have always followed your heart no matter the cost, and that, My son, is the _true_ meaning of life." Chuck looked at him then, with incredible admiration that Castiel had never seen before. "I am so very proud of you."

"Thank you, Father," Castiel said, his voice breaking, and tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. "Thank you."

"You will be a wonderful parent yourself," Chuck continued, getting to his feet, his own voice hoarse with emotion. "You will bring light into that child's life - the same light that you brought into the Winchesters'. Never lose it. Never change. You are exactly who you are supposed to be; an angel who loves humanity." With one last smile, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

 


End file.
